


I Will Love You Through The Simple And The Struggle

by Velocity_Owl87



Series: Loup!Verse [7]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Politics, Rebuilding, Unrequited Love, aftermath of war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-10
Updated: 2011-11-10
Packaged: 2017-10-25 22:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/275292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So how hard is rebuilding after the war? Adam is starting to find out it's harder than he ever thought His friends are mostly gone, his life is in tatters and yeah, he's also knocked up. It's tough. Even if an unlikely ally is willing to help him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I don't own these people or the song quoted.

“Make yourself at home, Adam.” Jonathan Roy told him as he gestured to what had been a guest bedroom in his and Sharpie's chambers and was now his bedroom for the foreseeable future. It had clearly been recently decorated and with no expense spared. The furniture was new: a bed, a rocking chair, a desk and a crib in the far corner of the room, by the wardrobe.

 

“You didn't have to do all of this.” Adam told Jonathan as he walked into the room and gratefully sat down on the bed. Although it hadn't taken too long to move his possessions, he was now getting closer to his fifth month and he tired much more easily.

 

Jonathan shrugged and ran his hand through his short-cropped hair. It would take a lot of getting used to, seeing so many of the _loups_ with such short hair. All of the _loups_ in the Western and Pacific Packs had shorn their heads as per their mourning customs. Adam hadn't seen it, but he was told that Ryan nearly been covered by all the braids of hair that had been buried with him.

 

“It's the least we could do for you, Adam. You helped so much and got basically shit for it. And I know that having a baby isn't going to be easy. Making you comfortable is the least we can do for you.”

 

Adam looked down at the blue and green plaid comforter and tried to swallow down the guilt that Jonathan's words brought up in him. He didn't deserve his kindness. Not when he maybe carried Sharpie's pup. Not when he knew that he wouldn't ever capture Sharpie's heart like Jonathan had captured it.

 

He still remembered that last time. It had been furtive and hurried in his bed before he was to go to Kesler in the morning. Not particularly tender, but much gentler than what he had had with Kesler. Sharpie only stayed briefly, falling asleep for a short time. Adam had watched him and had been about to steal a kiss from his best friend and saviour when Sharpie had turned his head.

 

“Please don't, Bur.” Sharpie had ordered him before getting out of bed and putting on his clothes. “I'm breaking my vows. Don't do this, Bur.”

 

“Then why are you doing it?” Adam asked quietly, his chest feeling hollow as he spoke.

 

Sharpie looked down at the floor before he looked at his friend. “Maybe because I don't want my best friend to die, thinking he was nothing more than a whore. Maybe because we both might die, and I don't want you to think that all you were good for was to be used. I care about you, Bur. But I cannot cross anymore lines with you. I love Jonathan. I fought for him. And if I lose him because of this...”

 

He shook his head and grabbed his jacket. “Good bye. I'm sorry.”

 

The sting of that last time hadn't lessened, and Bur figured that it never would. For either of them. Sharpie had fucked up and had acknowledged it as much. And that was all he had done. He had never spoken of what had happened since then. And as much as it hurt...there wasn't anything he wanted to do. He saw the love that Sharpie and Jonathan had for each other. It was painfully obvious in every look, every touch, every smile that they shared.

 

“Do you want to lie down for a bit? Sharpie's not back yet with the takeaway. It's nothing horrible. Just some pasta and salad and some cheesecake for desert.”

 

Adam nodded, biting his lip at the thoughtfulness of both of them while trying to keep his tears in check. He had to admit that he hadn't really been taking care to eat healthy in the past while, just grabbing whatever was around and convenient to have. At the thought, he put his hand on the small swell of his stomach. The doctor that had looked him over after the meeting had told him he was about four and a half months and still healthy, despite not taking care of himself as he should have.

 

“Hey, do you want to talk about it? You look really sad. Is it about Tazer?” Jonathan asked as he sat down and tilted Adam's face up to meet his gaze.

 

“No. It's just that...you're being really nice and I don't know how I'll-” Adam burst out, but was quickly silenced by Jonathan’s warm embrace.

 

“Adam. It's okay. Seriously. If it wasn't for all the information you gave us, we would have been wiped out and screwed six ways from Sunday. And I know how much it sucks that Tazer and Kaner have distanced themselves from all of us. Not to mention the baby.”

 

By this time, Jonathan was gently rocking him back and forth, rubbing small, slow circles on his back while Adam sniffled and tried not to cry. But the tears still came anyway. At least they stopped when they heard the front door open.

“Jonathan? Adam? You guys here? I got dinner.” Sharpie called out, and Adam tried to pull away from Jonathan's embrace, despite being torn between wanting the comfort and feeling like a worse asshole for needing it. Especially from the person that he had betrayed. But Jonathan held onto him, even as he called out their location.

 

“Adam? Jonathan? What's wrong? Are you okay? Both of you?”Sharpie asked as he rushed over to them and sat down on the bed beside them.

 

“Yeah. I'm okay. Adam's just a bit emotional.” Jonathan replied as he loosened his embrace letting Adam sit up and wipe his face with his hands, trying his best to look like he hadn't been crying when it was painfully obvious that he had.

 

“Adam...what's wrong, man? Is it the baby?” Sharpie asked worriedly, making Adam shake his head. “Tazer or Talbot? I can kick their asses about all that shit both of them said.”

 

That made Adam give a wet laugh as he shook his head. “No. It's...I'm just overwhelmed. You guys are so freaking nice, doing all of this for me and the baby.” Adam explained softly, sniffing as he spoke.

 

Sharpie laughed before he shoved Adam's head away gently. “You dumbass. You're like, my best friend. You were there when I was dealing with Kaner and Tazer, and you didn't flinch. You have my back on the ice. I've already said you did so much during the war. Just let us, okay? Don't feel like this. We really want to help, okay? So quit being a twit.”

 

Adam choked out a wet laugh at that, while Jonathan tightened his embrace before sliding off the bed and heading to the kitchen.

 

“I'll get the food set up. Adam, go wash your face. No more crying, eh?”

 

“I'll try. And thanks. I know-”

 

“Adam. Shut up, okay. Just go get cleaned up.” Jonathan ordered him before he left the room, making Adam laugh again. He shook his head and slowly got off the bed. Even though he was tired, he was more hungry and didn't really feel up to being alone. He had lost good friends and felt so isolated due to the baby. He couldn't really go out anymore now that he had started to show. He also didn't feel safe, since many _loups_ had made it clear he should get rid of it. And he wouldn't really put it past someone to attack him and cause him to lose the baby.

 

“Adam?” Patrick's soft question made him stop and look at his friend, who was still sitting on the bed, his short hair messy and barely covering the white gauze covering his maimed eye.

 

“It's nothing else...that made you upset, was it?” Patrick asked softly as he stood up and put his hands on Bur's shoulders.

 

“No, Sharpie. I really am just in awe. I mean, after feeling like a pariah...it's just...nice. And the hormones just made the feelings stronger than before.” Adam explained.

Sharpie nodded and gave Adam's shoulders a friendly squeeze before he let him go.

 

“Good. Jonathan and I, we're glad you're here. Now go get cleaned up. We need to feed you both.”

 

Adam smiled and Sharpie smiled back, one of the smiles that Adam always loved that made Sharpie look so beautiful to him. Even though his heart was hurting, it still made him feel like everything would somehow work out.

 

“Okay. I'll see you in a few.”

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

“So do you think I was a dick at the Council?” Max asked as he took a sip of his water as he and the Eastern Council and his teammates sat around in Sidney's room surrounded by takeaway boxes and numerous bottles of water, cans of beer and pop. He hated to admit it, but it was an impulsive act that had haunted him ever since Council was done.

 

And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe, just maybe, he had been a dick.

 

Flower and Tanger paused simultaneously from taking bites of their Kung Pao chicken and shot Talbot withering looks while Sidney just glared at him. Jordan was sitting the closest, and he picked up the message that none of the others were saying loud and clear.

 

“OW! FUCK! What the fuck was that for, Jordan?” Max howled as he rubbed the back of his head and glared at his friend. Jordan rolled his eyes and slapped him again.

 

“We love you, Max. We really do. But you can be an utter twatwaffle. You were more than a dick. You were a fucking asshole! I swear you nearly made Burish cry. BURISH!” Flower nearly shouted out as he pointed at Max with his chopsticks. Max winced at that and looked down.

 

He had been pissed that Burish had been protecting the others, since to Max, you picked a side and you stuck with it. That was the end of it. And he also had known what had gone on with Kesler. It had been painfully obvious, since Burish always came back to the enclave with huge hickies and limping. And the scent was another indication. But he had been too busy fighting alongside Sid and the others to put two and two together until they were sitting at the Council table. He couldn't keep quiet. Especially not if Adam was playing them like he had been playing Kesler.

 

“He did, actually. I swear I never thought I'd live to see the day that Adam Burish would be crying on my shoulder.” Sidney added.

 

“Shit, seriously?” Tanger asked as he put his chopsticks down and cracked a bottle of water open.

 

Sidney nodded. “It was brutal, man. Especially after Max shot off his mouth, and then Tazer just glared daggers at him. Shit...that was brutal.”

 

Max looked up at that. “Tazer did that? Seriously? Aren't they like best friends and all that?”

 

Sidney snorted. “Not anymore, now that we know Bur's knocked up with Kesler's spawn. Tazer's never forgiven Kesler for the Minnesota Incident. The idea of one of his friends having his pup is so revolting to Tazer that unless Bur gets rid of it or kills it soon after it's born, they're done.”

 

“I didn't think he'd do that to his best friend, man.” Max said as he drank more of his water.

 

Jordan shook his head then. “Tazer was always a hard-ass, man. He was ruthless on the ice, so it's no surprise that he would be ruthless here. He's never going to forgive Burish for this. Even if it was going to benefit him in the end. All I'm saying is that I'm glad Theodore's holding the reins on that one.”

 

“That was a surprise. I still remember the first time I saw him, when I met Henke. Never thought that he'd have it in him to make everyone shut the fuck up and listen.” Sid mused as he speared another piece of chicken from his takeaway carton.

 

“Yeah, well, he did. And put Tazer in his place, even though that could come back and bite him and us in the ass. Especially if Burish does agree to come to the East.” Tanger pointed out.

 

“I think Theodore's got nothing to lose at this point and would welcome the challenge. He's the one with the strength now. At least until his Alpha is done with his grieving.” Flower added as he shovelled fried rice into his mouth.

 

“That's true, but...you know...I was thinking.” Sidney chewed on his lip as he gathered his thoughts.

 

“If Burish was pregnant with Kesler's spawn...why would he be fighting so hard to keep it? I know he spent more time with Tazer and Sharpie than he did with his own Pack. So there's no reason for him to be fighting to keep a spawn that would remind him of Kesler and his time there.”

 

“It's someone else's for sure. The question is whose is it?” Flower asked as he put it all together.

 

“Maybe it's Tazer's, that's why he's being a little bitch about the whole situation.” Jordan suggested.

 

“Hah! No. He's that much of a hard-ass on himself as well. And despite his faults, he really does love Kaner. No. Maybe Sharpie? They are really close.” Tanger chimed in.

 

“No fucking way. Sharpie's stuck on Roy. He was the one that carried Roy out from the cells. He's too decent to ever do such a thing. They also really love each other. They are like the Alpha and his Consorts. They're like true wolves. They will mate for life. No. It's someone else.” Sidney countered.

 

“Yeah. Probably. Could be Max, for all we know. You were _such_ an asshole! Only dudes that don't want to acknowledge their spawn freak out like that!” Jordan joked.

 

“Fuck off, Staal!” Max hissed, getting up, and slamming the door behind him, leaving the rest of his friends looking at each other in stunned silence.

 

“What the fuck's his problem?” Jordan asked his friends. “It's not like we don't jerk each other's chains when we're together. Why's he so touchy?”

 

“Maybe he's really feeling guilty about what happened in Council. Burish was pretty shaken up about the whole thing. And if he wasn't feeling bad about it, he wouldn't still be on that. It's been almost a month. And he's impulsive, but not an outright prick.” Sidney explained, making the others nod or shrug.

 

“He may also be afraid of being in the same position someday. He's from the same Pack as Burish, even if he's now in the Eastern Pack.” Flower reminded them. He looked at Jordan then. “You are also in that same category, so make sure you're either topping, or have a lot of condoms at hand.”

 

Jordan flushed deeply and looked down at his food, pushing it away once the implications hit him.

 

“Shit. Forgot about that. Erhm...do you think we should go look for him?” Jordan asked.

 

“No. Let him cool off. He's got a nastier temper than Flower's. He needs to be alone at this time. Let him be.” Sid replied.

~*~*~*~*

Max hurried down the halls, Jordan's words still ringing in his ears as he walked in an effort to calm himself. He hadn't meant to snap, but Jordan's teasing had really hit a nerve. He had been an asshole to Burish and hated that implacable part of his personality that had made it justifiable for him to spill Burish's secret to the entire Council.

 

Although he had to admit that he never expected for Tazer to turn like that against his friend and basically demand he destroy a child...a child that was so clear now, not Kesler's. In fact, the more he thought about it, there was just no way that it could possibly be Kesler's. And he honestly didn't think that Burish was that selfless to bear and raise a pup that was the product of a loveless transaction that in the end, caused him to lose his friends and be more or less a prisoner until his child was born.

 

And in part...Jordan had also hit one of the sore spots in his armour: having a child and being left alone to deal with it. Max knew himself. He was too immature and ill-equipped to have a child. And the idea of carrying and being responsible for another life left him utterly terrified. And now, that it had happened to Burish, that old fear was coming back to the surface.

 

“ _Tabarnak_ ” Max muttered as he kept on walking, not caring where he was going until he realized that he had reached the part of the Enclave where the European Collective was housed. And he hated to admit it, but he didn't know his way around as well as the others, since he seldom came to court. Sid hadn't been to the Eastern Enclave in years and this was his first time there. And he still was quite unclear about how to get around.

 

“Not what I needed, that's for certain.” He muttered to himself as he began to retrace his steps back to the Eastern wing. He ran into a few other _loups_ and gave them a nod in greeting, which was returned with cool courtesy, and that made him wince inwardly. He knew that, despite being an Eastern Wolf legally, no one would forget that he was part of the Pack that had caused the death of so many _loups_ and of a well-respected 2 nd Consort of the West.

 

Max understood more now, the pain that his actions must have caused Burish, which was all the more reason to go back and make amends. And even if Burish told him to go fuck himself, at least he had done his part. Having decided on this course of action, Max's mood improved. He wasn't _quite_ a hundred percent back to normal, but he was in a better frame of mind than he had been since the Council.

 

Max kept on walking then, until he realized that he was utterly and hopelessly lost and wherever he was, it certainly wasn't the Eastern wing. If anything, it looked a lot like an unused area of the Enclave, by how dark and gloomy it looked, with the dark panelling and dim lights. Not to mention the underlying feeling of sadness and grief that hung in the air like clinging perfume.

 

He didn't want to be there. In fact, his instincts were telling him that he needed to clear out and fast. But he also knew he had no clue how to get the hell out. He forced himself to walk further into the hall and hope that he ran into someone to give him some kind of directions.

 

He walked past several doors, one of which brought tears to his eyes when he passed by. The grief and pain emanating from it was so strong that it made his heart ache as he hurried on by. There was only one more door, and he was relieved that it was cracked open and had warm, orange light spilling from it. It also didn't feel as if anyone was horribly broken or sad inside. It was a quiet grief, but it was tempered with love and anticipation of some sort.

 

Max stopped and raised his hand to knock on the wood when the door opened to reveal Adam Burish. Despite looking tired, he still had that glow of pregnancy in his face, which had grown rounder. His hair was not short like the others. In fact, it was thick, dark,and extremely long.

 

He smiled slightly, and Max felt sort of awkward, especially when his eyes moved down to take in the loose shirt and swells of Adam's changed body. He felt that he was being rude and looked up, only to find Adam's smile had softened and that he didn't seem to even notice that he was being stared at.

 

“Come in. I saw you would come. I just wasn't exactly sure when it was that you would show up.”

 

~*~*~*~*

“Do you want something to drink?”Adam asked him as they walked past the sitting area, another room and finally entered another room that made Max's eyes widen in surprise as they took in the furnishings.

 

“How long until you get to use this?” He asked as he looked into the crib, which was already made with soft blue bedding and had a couple of small toys, as well as baby clothes, diapers and other baby paraphernalia neatly arranged.

 

“Four more months. And they told me it's a boy. The Midwestern Pack only breeds males.” Adam replied as he walked over to the rocking chair and carefully sat down.

 

“Really? That's...interesting.” Max said as he pulled the desk chair out and sat down on it.

 

“I guess it would be when you're not the one knocked up.” Adam replied.

 

Max nodded and looked down as he tried to gather up his thoughts in order to really talk to Adam.

 

“Do you know why I'm here?” Adam shook his head, making Max swallow hard.

 

“I was an asshole at the Council. And I didn't think about how telling everyone you're knocked up would have had on your life. And...I know it's not much, but I want to apologize and make it up to you somehow.” Max said, the words coming out in an almost unintelligible rush.

 

He looked up and saw Adam looking at him with a stunned expression as he let the words sink in. He was quiet for long enough to make Max start to fidget and squirm in his chair as he expected to be told to get the fuck out and never come back ever again. But when he spoke, it was without heat.

 

“Why are you apologizing to me now? I thought that you never changed your mind once you were set on a course.” Adam asked quietly.

 

“I know I can be stubborn. But I am not too proud to admit when I have made mistakes. And that was one of them. All of this,” Max paused and gestured at the bedding and furniture, “as nice as it may be, is still a prison. And I know that Tazer's no longer speaking to you and that you have to be here.”

 

Adam flinched and leaned forward slightly, making Max worry that he had caused Adam even more pain and worry by his words.

 

“So are you coming here because you pity me? Is that what you're telling me?” Adam asked, his voice low and precise, making Max realize he had to tread carefully if he didn't want his apology to backfire and his face ripped off. If Adam had been in _loup_ form, his hackles would have been up and his ears would have been flattened.

 

“No. I am not doing this out of pity. I am apologizing because I realized _why_ you were hiding everything. And also because it is my fault you are here, and I will take responsibility for my actions.”

 

Adam's eyes widened and his hand automatically came to rest on the swell of his stomach. He winced again, and he began to stroke it, making Max realize the baby was kicking due to Adam's distress. A distress that although he was trying to keep back, was starting to gradually spill over enough for Max to pick up and start to be affected.

 

“You know...it's not Kesler's?” Max nodded, making Adam close his eyes briefly.

 

“There was no love lost, between you and Kesler. And you came back looking like you had just died, whenever you went out there. And I do not think you are so honourable that you would have his pup and raise it as your own when you had no love for him. So it is the child of someone else.”

 

Adam nodded, and he pressed down slightly on his stomach, but he still was looking pale and in pain as he did so. Max felt terrible at the sight. He hadn't meant to distress Adam. Nor did he expect to actually have a conversation with him. At the most, he expected a polite nod and to be shown the door.

 

“It isn't his. But-”

 

“I do not care. It does not matter to me, Adam. You have your reasons for keeping quiet. I respect that. This is a secret that I will help you keep. You do not have to do this alone.” Max interrupted him, making Adam nod and sit back in the chair. Max got up and warily approached him.

 

Adam closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths to calm down. At first, Max was on the verge of panicking, until he realized that Adam was trying to keep the tears at bay. His panic lessened, but he then became anxious as he realized that he had no idea what to do if Adam flat out burst into a sobbing fit. They weren't exactly friends per se, and he wasn't sure if physical violence would follow if he tried to give him a hug or pat him on the back if it came to that.

 

“Thanks. I mean it. It's...it's not bad. Sharpie and Jonathan are super nice. But you're right. I can't go out unless they are with me. Half of the West thinks I'm a fucking traitor for not getting rid of it. The East and the Europeans are neutral, but I can't go to you guys or to the Europeans and get everyone there in trouble. The Pacific Pack and the old Midwestern Pack are the only ones backing me...but Shane is gone out there to fix the Packs and rebuild our boundary lines. Carey has his hands full with his mate and Caelan. So yeah...you're right. I'm alone.” Adam said, his voice dull and defeated, making Max wince at how down he sounded about the situation.

 

“I won't deny that I was furious at what you did there. Even if we are pack mates, I wanted to rip your throat out so that you'd never speak again. I won't deny it.”

 

Max swallowed, but he didn't say anything. What could he say? If he was in Adam's position, he would have felt the same way and would have attempted it. At least Adam had that much self-restraint. Not to mention concern for the life inside him.

 

“But one of my best friends turned on me. And until Jose gives me permission, I'm stuck here, trying to repair bridges that I never burned. So I would be an idiot to start up that enmity with you, especially when you are here trying to make amends for your actions.”

 

Adam looked up at him and the brokenness and desolation he saw in those clear blue eyes, so unlike his own, spurred him to bend down and wrap his arms around Adam. The gesture earning him a surprised gasp. He held the other _loup_ tightly, hoping that would ease the despair that had escaped Adam's carefully constructed walls and give him some measure of peace. Even if it meant quite possibly earning himself a slash or a nip in the process.

 

It wasn't so, when he felt the waves of relief pouring from Adam as he sank into his embrace and the comfort and safety that it offered. The longer they stayed like that, the more Max felt Adam loosen up until he was so relaxed and nearly asleep that even the faint sound of his pup's heartbeat was audible to him. It wasn't until even that had slowed down to a soft thrum in the background that he pulled back and saw that Adam was asleep.

 

“Oh.” He heard the soft exclamation and turned to see Sharpie standing at the door, a surprised expression on his face as he took in the sight of Max holding a sleeping Adam.

And that was all Max could get from him. Sharpie was holding his emotions back too tightly for him to pick up anything from him.

 

“I was just...I was out of line, in the Council, I was. I came to apologize to him and make amends.”

 

Max explained as he shifted his position so that he could move Adam over to the bed with as little jostling as possible. He looked like he needed the sleep, if the dark circles under his eyes were anything to go by, and Max was loath to wake him or let him fall asleep in the rocking chair and be stiff later on.

 

Sharpie nodded as he watched Max get Adam into the bed and tuck him in.

 

“I guess it worked. He's not slept that deeply for quite awhile, and he does need to sleep. The child is draining him. Being alone is draining him.” Sharpie noted as Max turned around to face him, the question quite clear in his eyes as he looked at the Regent of the West.

 

“I don't want him to be alone...and if you have reached an agreement, then I'd like it if you would stay with him and keep him safe when he goes to the East.”

 

Max nodded without hesitation at the request. “I can do that. It is the least I can do. If I had kept my mouth shut, he would not be in this predicament.”

 

Sharpie's mouth twitched, but he only nodded. “Jonathan is also here. He can check on Bur if need be. I'll walk you back to the Eastern Wing.”

 

~*~*~*~*~

Sid was going through some of the old Alpha's records when he heard the door open. He looked up and was surprised to see Max enter and sit down quietly across from him. He steepled his hands and closed his eyes before he looked up at Sidney, his eyes glowing darkly as he gathered his thoughts.

 

“Sid, how would you feel if I were to stay with Burish? Would that cause any problems with the Western Pack?”

 

Sid blinked and put the files away. “I don't think so. Not if I make it clear that even though you are of my Pack...your allegiance lies with anyone from the Midwestern Pack. And I know if I present it to Theodore as such, he will make the Western Pack heel. Also, he will eventually be under my protection, so no. I don't think there would be a problem.”

 

Max nodded, and Sid took off his glasses to look at Max. “However, I have to ask why this has come up all of the sudden. The last thing I saw was you storming off, and now you come back several hours later and make a pretty damned heavy request, considering the furor that Burish's condition caused in the Council. A condition that you revealed to all.”

 

Max nodded, and his eyes got darker, almost black as he weighed his words carefully.

 

“I know. I was an asshole, and I apologized to Adam...I just...I was scared okay?”

 

Sid's face went cold as Max's words hit him. “Please tell me that I'm wrong, Please Max.”

 

Max shook his head. “It is complicated. Just listen, okay? It will make sense later.”


	2. Carey/Danny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So how hard is rebuilding after the war? Carey's got his territory and his Pack back. He's also got a broken mate, stepchildren and not a real clue how it's going to work out. But at least Shane and Jose have his back.

_Carey/Danny_

“What did they say about your mate?” Jose asked as he took a sip of his tea and looked at Carey with eyes like burning emeralds.

“He's not going to be the same again. Even being an Alpha.” Carey replied as he ran his hands through the spiky short mess that was his hair.

Jose's eyes darkened at that. “Oh? What did they say exactly?”

Carey bit his lip and looked away from those haunting eyes. He didn't want to tell Jose what the doctors had sat him down and told him that morning. He didn't want to add to the Consort's grief. Nor did he want to add guilt in that mix. Especially not now that he had Tazer to keep in check and Sheldon to bring back from being almost completely shattered. But he was also wise enough to not insult another Alpha.

“He was caught in the backlash and the force was the equivalent of him having been next to a bomb. His back's broken, along with his right arm and other bones. We're Alphas...but we're not indestructible.”

Jose nodded. “It's true. If we were, Shel wouldn't be so broken and Ryan would be here still.”

“Why couldn't he be pulled back?” Carey asked. Jose's mouth twisted in remembered pain at the question, and he remained quiet as he thought about what answer to give Carey.

“Shel wanted to. He asked him. He didn't care what the price would have been. But Ryan refused him. Refused me. And Shel let him go.” Jose shook his head.

“Why? Shel loved Ryan. I don't understand why he let him go. Didn't he have enough power?”

Jose smiled bitterly, the faint scars on his face making the expression even more pronounced than before. “Kesler knew Shel's weaknesses. And exploited them. The ones of his body and the ones of his heart. We didn't know, until later, how close he was to dying. How close I was. But Ryan knew. He just knew, from his own visions.”

He shook his head and took another swig of his tea, making it look like he was taking a shot of the hard stuff.

“If Shel pulled him back, we all would have died. Kesler would have gotten us out of the way. Had he survived. So he refused Shel.” Jose looked away then.

“I was angry. Very angry until Shel let it slip.” Carey's eyes widened and turned black at the revelation, making Jose laugh hollowly at his expression.

“That is why I love him. He would have rather me be angry at him, possibly hated him than let me see the truth behind Ryan's request. I guess I have to thank Kesler for that, in a roundabout way, since Shel was so sick that he couldn't keep anything from me. And how broken he is from it. Shel's strong. But he's never had a loss like this in his life. His battles were always tangible. Mine never were.”

Carey nodded, finally understanding why Jose was the one assuming the mantle of power now that Ryan was gone.

“Danny...is the same as Shel in some ways. We always forget how much will he has. How hard he fought to get to where he got.”

Jose looked down at the table. “What will you do, if he never recovers? If he is a crippled  _loup_  and he pushes you away for your own good?”

Carey's mouth worked, and he felt as if Jose had physically struck him with his question. But he didn't hesitate to answer it.

“I made a promise to him. Just like he made a promise to me. That was the only reason why we mated, despite the visions and the warnings against it. I love him and I would have lived alone for the rest of my life if it meant he would live and be safe. But he made the promise in return. Danny is, above everything else, a man of his word. I won't desert him. I promised, and you know very well that we can't break our promises. Not when they have been broken against us.”

Jose nodded. He knew, all too well, of those broken promises.

“Fair enough.” Jose conceded, knowing when he saw the black engulf all of Carey's eyes that it was time to step back.

“Besides. Shane...will always be there. To help.” Carey whispered softly.

“As will I. The offer goes both ways, Alpha of the Pacific.”

 _~*~*~*~*~_

“Is he going to get better?” Caelan asked Carey as they watched Danny sleep the sleep of the comatosed.

“He will. He's an Alpha. It just will take time. Lots of time.” Carey assured Caelan, who he knew was struggling to keep up a brave front at seeing his father looking so broken, with all the bandages and machines monitoring his vitals.

“I don't want to leave him.” Caelan whispered, and Carey brought him close and wrapped his arm around the boy in a loose one-armed hug he could easily get out of if he wished.

“He won't be alone. I'll be here. And Shane. And Jose. We'll take care of him. I promise. I love your father. I won't leave him alone.” Carey promised, trying to push down the wave of guilt that abruptly crested in his chest again. Even though logically, he knew that the only one to blame was Kesler and he was dead, Carey still couldn't help but to feel guilty that he hadn't been there in time to protect his mate. And logically, he knew that. But seeing his mate bruised and broken did nothing to ease his guilt.

“Can't I just stay with Bur?”Caelan asked breaking Carey's self-pitying thoughts.

“It's not a good idea, Caelan. He's basically under house arrest until his baby's born, since no one knows if it's Kesler's or not. No one wants another war.” Carey replied.

“What the fuck? Seriously?” Caelan replied, turning to look at Carey. “That's stupid.”

Carey nodded. “I know it is. But the point is that if you were to stay with him, as my son, Tazer would just get pissed and everyone would be freaking out. I don't want to ignore you.”

“I know. I just don't want to leave him again. I didn't see him for so long and now...he's like this.” Caelan replied softly, and Carey finally understood why Caelan was resisting going away.

Carey was thinking to protect the pup, from seeing his father in such a state. He wasn't taking into consideration that Caelan was afraid if he didn't keep an eye on his father, Danny would disappear completely. He also needed to insulate the pup for when things got to be too hard to take. He himself, at twenty-three, knew how hard it was and was thankful that Jose was doing that for him.

“How would you feel about staying with Tanger and Flower? They're in the Eastern Wing of the enclave, and you won't be that far from us.” Carey found himself saying. He knew he was going to have to pull out some pretty magnificent favours to make that happen, but when Caelan's anxious face cleared up...He knew that anything they would ask would be worth it.

~*~*~*~*~

“I hate this. I really hate it. It's disgusting. Who really likes oatmeal?” Danny commented as he looked down at the tray of food sitting on the table in front of him.

“It's good for you?” Carey asked, wondering the same thing himself. It was a thing: you were sick or in the hospital, you got oatmeal.

“Maybe I'll sneak you some Frosted Flakes next time. With Homo milk.” Carey commented, making Danny roll his eyes as he awkwardly picked up his spoon with his left hand and poked the oatmeal with it. The expression was so like Caelan that Carey laughed, but quickly coughed to cover it up in case he incurred Danny's wrath at being compared to his teenage pup.

“I heard that. And yeah. Fine. Give me sugar. It would be better than eating wall speckle.” Danny groused as he ate the first spoonful and made a face of sheer agony that made Carey finally lose it.

“You are a fucking asshat, you know that?” Danny asked, but his tone was one of exasperated amusement that took the sting out of his words and made Carey laugh even harder.

Even though Carey regretted teaching him those words, he had to admit that being called an asshat or a twatwaffle was a hell of a lot better than how it had been before. Which had consisted of Danny throwing him out. And then tearfully apologizing and awkward talks that ended well, but were something he would have rather NOT had, since they were more charged than they were in normal circumstances.

Like the one they had in the first week after Danny had just woken up and been apprised of his situation.

“Give him time. That, along with understanding, is what he needs after the medical care is done. If you were in his position, he could deal. He's used to taking care of his boys. This is unexpected and a hard blow to him. I remember how it was when he had that concussion and had to spend his birthday in the hospital. Took him a long while to get back to normal again.” Shane had told him the first time Danny had screamed at him to get out, throwing his breakfast tray to the ground and Carey had obeyed.

It had been a good thing that his cousin had been there, visiting Sheldon, or else he would have turned tail and fled. It wasn't that he was a coward, but Carey honestly was out of his depth. He thought that they could deal with Danny's injuries and the recovery period and the possibility of him reaching a plateau. He had been there and had held Danny after they had been told everything. Brushed away his hair and kissed away his tears and had promised him that whatever happened, they would work through it all.

“He just told me to get the fuck out and to never come back, Shane! How am I supposed to give him all of that if he's telling me to leave?” Carey had asked as they sat in the courtyard and drank the tea that Theo had thoughtfully provided for them.

“Carey, he's a grown man that has been reduced to relying on everyone to help him with even the most basic tasks. He can't do anything for himself. So think: how humiliating is it for him to have to have his mate feed him, bathe him, take him to the bathroom as he did with his own children? Of course he's going to be upset. But he's not upset at you. Don't take it personally. It's not about you. And I know it will be hard. I know that you'll snap back. You're human. But don't ever think he doesn't want you there. Or that he doesn't need you to hold him and tell him he's okay.”

Carey nodded. His cousin was right. Shane was always right. That was the reason why he had practically begged Sheldon and his Consorts to let him go and let him be his co-Alpha. He knew that despite it being his territory, he needed Shane's wisdom for him to grow into an effective Alpha as his mother had been.

Shane's wisdom had been proven when one of the nurses had come out and told him that he needed to get back to the room right away. Carey tossed his cup and Shane followed, both asking questions as they followed the nurse back to Danny's room.

“He decided he'd get out of bed and of course he fell. But he won't let any of us touch him. He only wants you and your cousin to help him. He won't even let us open the door.” The nurse explained as they got to Danny's room.

Carey swallowed hard when he faced the closed door and looked back at his cousin, who nodded as he knocked on the door.

“Carey?” Danny called out faintly.

“Yeah. It's me. I'm going to come in. Shane too. Is that all right?”

“ _Yeah. Just come in. Please.”_  Danny's plea made Carey's heart hurt, and he opened the door to find Danny lying on his back, his eyes having gone totally black in fear and all four limbs useless as he lay on the floor in shock. The brace that was keeping his spine immobile made it impossible for him to move without help, leaving him as helpless as an overturned turtle. He was clutching his broken right arm to his chest, his broken left leg was lying straight out and his right leg was pinned underneath him, making Carey worry Danny had hurt himself even more.

“ _Oh, love. What happened? What were you trying to do?”_ Carey asked him as he, along with his cousin, gently picked him up and got him settled back into the bed, putting up the railings and clearing away the IV lines and other paraphernalia that had recently been in Danny. He gave him a cursory check for injuries and was relieved to find nothing broken.

“ _I am sorry. I...thought you had left. I called, but you didn't answer me. It was like there was a wall up. I know that my legs do not work, but I could not call you. You did not hear me, so I took the chance, and they heard it happen. But I did not want them to see me like that.”_ He turned his head away from his mate, making Carey bite his lip as he reached out to stroke Danny's damp curls away from his clammy forehead.

“ _I am too weak. I cannot do this. I am too fucking weak, and I hate myself for it.”_ Danny told him, making Carey bite his lip harder to keep his emotions in check.

“ _You're not weak. You're injured. There's a difference, love. Don't be so hard on yourself. It will take time and...I'm sorry for shutting you out. I thought that you wanted me to leave, and I didn't know what to do. I was talking to Shane...”_ Carey apologized as he smoothed his Consort's hair back, ignoring the background murmur of his cousin and the nurses as they discussed what needed to be done for Danny now that he was back in bed and more or less calm after being with his mate.

“ _I got scared. I'm frustrated, Carey. I could not help myself. I don't mean it. I never mean it. I do not want you to leave.”_ Danny told him as he cupped Carey's face with his left hand, making Carey instinctively lean into the touch and move his face so that he was able to press a kiss to Danny's palm.

“ _I won't leave. I promised you that in the woods. Just like you made the promise to me, remember?”_

Danny nodded, his eyes slowly going back to their normal hazel green as Carey kept on caressing him and pressing soft kisses onto his hand, distracting him from the nurse as she worked to hook him up to the lines again and to inject him with a relaxant to help him sleep.

“ _I'm sorry, that I didn't listen. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Ever. So you won't ever have to feel like you are alone, bon?”_ Carey asked, making Danny smile slightly.

“ _Good. I won't leave you. Even though I don't know exactly how it feels, being like this...I know that I can be here for you, okay? Even when you kick me out and throw oatmeal at me.”_

Danny groaned and flushed in embarrassment.  _“Can we pretend it didn't happen?”_

He yawned and blinked and Carey had to smile at the sight.  _“Don't know what you mean.”_

Danny smiled, and his eyes slid shut. The Eastern wolves always got knocked out by that stuff, and even being Carey's mate didn't offer him enough immunity to it, making him pass out fast.

“ _Good. I knew I kept you around for more than just your great ass.”_ Danny slurred before he was gone into a deep sleep.

Carey only laughed softly to himself before he gently placed Danny's arm across his chest and kissed him. A soft, sweet kiss that Danny, despite his state, responded to faintly.

He pulled away from his mate and looked at his cousin, who only watched him with sympathy.

“ _It's going to get harder, isn't it?”_  Carey asked his cousin, his eyes completely black as he moved up to him, feeling like he did the first time he had to go up against the Alpha for his first blooding.

“ _Yes. I won't lie to you, kid. It will be. And you will have to be strong when it does and take help when it is offered. As well to have faith it will all work out.”_

Shane told him as he wrapped his arm around his cousin, and it didn't escape Carey how Shane's gesture mimicked his own earlier when he was comforting Caelan.

“ _Yeah. I'll try man, I'll try.”_

Shane tightened his grip and pulled Carey closer. When he was younger, he would have protested, but right now it was exactly what he needed.

“Where's Caelan?” Danny's question brought him out of his thoughts and he blinked a couple of times before he looked back at his mate, who had finished the food and had now pushed the table away.

“With Flower and Tanger. Do you want to see him today?” Carey asked as Danny lay back and flexed the fingers of his right hand, testing their dexterity. Carey watched him and had to admit that there was improvement. It had been almost a month and things had been improving, but not as fast as Danny would have liked. He was still wearing the brace, the one thing he disliked the most out of everything else he had to endure the past while. But he put up with it, because it would mean the difference between being permanently crippled and walking again.

“Would it be possible to go see him? I hate that he always has to come here, and I don't get to go out except for physio and to the atrium.” Danny asked as he shifted around in bed as much as he possibly could. Although he had some sensation back, he hadn't regained any movement yet.

It had been a month and a few weeks and most of the injuries had healed well. That gave Carey confidence. Even when Danny sunk into his brief lulls of hopeless despair, thinking that he would never play again, never mind walk, Carey had hope.

“I'll talk to the doctors and see if they will let us. I'm sure we can swing it. Maybe go to the park or something. You're looking too pale, love. Would be good to get you some sun and fresh air.” Carey said as he reached over and poked Danny's shoulder, which was still too thin in his opinion. He had lost weight and muscle being confined to a bed or the wheelchair.

“Break me from my prison?” Danny asked, smiling at Carey, who laughed softly.

“For sure. Anything to make you happy and healthy again.” Carey agreed as he leaned over and kissed him on the lips before nibbling kisses down his jaw until he reached the juncture of shoulder and neck, where he gave him a quick nip.

Danny moaned and held Carey in place. It had been awhile since his mate had touched him that way. And he meant to make it last. Danny had been in pain and then too depressed to even think about having any kind of romantic interludes. It wasn't until recently that he was again noticing his mate's dark eyes, his boyish smile, the curve of his jaw and his great ass.

“ _Do that again. It has been too long. I've missed this. I've missed you.”_  Danny told him, making Carey comply and bite him again, while he ran his hands down Danny's chest and under his shirt. He paused a bit, since it was still a surprise to encounter the hard shell of the brace instead of soft skin, since it covered most of Danny's torso leaving very little flesh to be touched. He covered up the gesture and hoped that Danny hadn't noticed, since he was awkwardly self-conscious about it still and tried to keep it covered up and out of sight as much as he possibly could.

Danny gasped as Carey stroked his chest. Encouraged, Carey bit down and sucked on his neck while his fingers brushed against Danny's nipple.

“Oh God!” Danny gasped. The simple touch had awakened his body, making him press his chest as best as he could against his mate's hand. He wanted to feel that again, so that he would know for sure that it wasn't a fluke or a onetime thing.

“Do it again!” He ordered Carey, his left hand going up and holding on to the short mess of his hair.

Carey complied, pressing his fingertips on the hard nub as he tested exactly how far he could go with this. When Danny groaned, he gently rolled his nipple between his thumb and forefinger, his teeth breaking skin as Danny jerked and moaned at the sensation engulfing him. He hadn't felt so good in a long time, and Carey was ever so quickly pushing him close to the edge, carefully balancing pain and pleasure in order to prolong his ecstasy.

He played Danny like a violin: plucking, kneading, caressing, alternating his touches and adjusting them in accordance to Danny's reactions. The breathy gasps, moans and keens were what guided him, and by the way Danny's skin was heating under his fingers, Carey knew that he was on the right track.

Danny didn't think he could reach a higher plateau until Carey's other hand started working on his other nipple, intensifying his arousal so highly that he knew, despite the short time, that he was going to come. His mouth opened as Carey squeezed his nipples just so at the right time and he knew that he was there. Already it had pooled in his belly, and when Carey did that, he was done.

“ _Oh God! Carey! Carey!”_ Danny babbled out in his mind,and Carey knew what was coming next.

No one heard him cry out, because Carey captured his mouth when he sensed that Danny had climaxed. The kiss, although fierce and tasting of blood, was still very much welcome. It reminded him of that day in the woods when Carey had taken him as his mate.

“ _Christ.”_  Carey muttered after he sucked Danny's bottom lip and pulled away. He looked down at Danny, who was lying limp and satiated, his eyes closed and his cheeks flushed.

“That's a good look for you.” Carey muttered as he buttoned up Danny's pajama top. Danny opened his eyes and tried to glare, but he was too damned languid to really put some effort into it.

“I'll be right back.” Carey told him as he went into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He looked down at himself and laughed softly when he noticed the damp spot on the front of his jeans and cursed his decision to wear the light wash jeans today of all days. At least his hoodie was long enough that it would cover it, but he would have to get home and shower if he was going to take Danny out as he had planned.

He shook his head again and was surprised at how unembarrassed he was about coming in his boxers. He hadn't expected the interlude. Nor had he expected to get so turned on that he came simply by hearing his mate's reactions and his orgasm in his head. He hadn't expected for it to be so intense, but he wasn't going to complain. Especially not when that had been one of his mate's concerns, that he wouldn't be able to have sex ever again.

Carey was glad that was no longer an issue and hoped that this was a sign of more improvement to come. He really did, since he could see how much Danny needed to be independent again. He sighed and pushed the rest of the depressing thoughts away. He didn't want to put a damper on the occasion.

He splashed some water on his face and then looked around for either a washcloth or wet wipes. He found the wet wipes and walked out of the bathroom to find Danny still lying bonelessly on the bed, a small smile on his face as he did so.

“How are you feeling?” At the sound of Carey's voice, he turned his head towards his mate and smiled.

“Amazing. Relieved. Sticky, probably.” Danny replied. Carey laughed softly.

“I can fix that. Come on.”

~*~*~*~*~

“This is nice.” Danny's quiet words of appreciation made Carey crack an eye open and look over to his mate, who was lying beside him on a blanket. Danny's good arm was folded under his head and he had his face tilted up to the sun, enjoyment clear on his face as he soaked up the sun.

“Yeah. It's a nice day today. I'm glad that we got you out. Especially after you got that last cast off.” Carey replied as he reached over and tucked a long hank of hair behind Danny's ear, who made a noise of agreement at the statement.

“It's too long. Maybe I should get it cut.” Danny murmured as Carey pushed the long waves away from his forehead.

“If you do, I'll bite you. You have nice hair.” Carey admonished him.

“Besides, you'd look way too similar to Caelan and that is  _not_  something I'd like to have, thank you very much, sir.” Carey said as he lightly tugged on the lock of hair, making Danny laugh.

“Gee thanks. Build me up to knock me down. I see how it is.”

Carey laughed too and sat up to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Just calling them how I see them, babe. And speaking of your twin, where did he disappear to?”

“I'm right behind you, actually. And I kind of wish I wasn't.” Caelan replied as he walked over to the blanket and sat down on the edge of it, putting the bag of groceries down carefully.

“Yeah. Sorry, man. I'm just happy to be out here with your dad. Spring makes a man go crazy.” Carey said, making both father and son look at each other and snort in laughter.

“And this is why we can't have nice things, you see?” Carey noted in a sotto voice, making them crack up even further.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever. Anyways, here's the water and the other junk you asked for.” Caelan said as he shoved the bag over, but not before pulling out a coke for himself.

“Thanks. I'm glad I have you as a stepson.” Carey commented lightly, making Danny and Caelan look at him strangely as he reached in and pulled out a bottle of water.

“What? Did I say something wrong?” Carey asked them. “Because if I did, we can pretend I-”

“Shut up. I'm seriously your step-son?” Caelan asked.

“Uh yeah, I thought it was obvious, since I've been shacked up with your dad and all that. Or are you more in favour of me being a girl? Because I could dress like a chick. I'm sure that I could get some heels and-”

“Oh GOD! Carey! SHUT UP! He's only thirteen! Don't corrupt my son!”

“Dad, it's too late. I was living with Bur, and I live with Tanger and Flower.” Caelan piped up. Danny turned and narrowed his eyes at Carey, who only took a drink of his water.

“What? It's not like he wasn't going to find out stuff eventually! Better he does it under our supervision. Besides, Bur, Tanger and Flower are harmless. It's Talbot and Sid you-”

“I am going to pretend I didn't hear any of this.” Danny cut in. He turned to his son and looked at him sharply.

“Do you have a problem with Carey being my mate? I know we didn't ask you or tell you, and we haven't really talked about anything after, since it wasn't as if we had time to talk about how things were going to change after this,” here he swept his hand over his legs and newly braced arm, “happened, so we might as well hear it now.”

Caelan looked down and uncapped his Coke, took a swig from it and swallowed it down.

“He makes you happy. He takes care of you. You said that it was a possibility with being a  _loup._  I'm not saying I'm like totally okay with it. It's kind of an adjustment to know your old man likes chicks and dudes who turn furry once a month and have freaky mind powers.”

“Oh my God! Caelan, shut up. You're making me sound like some kind of creepy pervert. Carey! Shut up, stop encouraging him! Stop laughing dammit! I'm trying to have a serious conversation with my son, your step-son here! Carey!”

“Uh, Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“It's cool. I just need some time...but yeah...I have to say it's like 70 percent cool. Depends on the day, but mostly, yeah. 70 and more. And I like that you picked Carey. He's dense, but cool.”

“Hey! I heard that! See if I let you play on the Xbox when we get home!”

“See if I let  _both_ of you play on the damned Xbox!”

“HEY!”


	3. Sheldon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So how hard is rebuilding after the war? Sheldon's struggling with the loss of his Consort, his injuries and his changed role in the aftermath.

“ _Light up, light up, as if you have choice,_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear.”Snow Patrol_

“ _Ryan...don't leave, man! Don't fucking leave us!” He was begging, trying against logic to keep the crushed cage of his chest from breaking any further. Already, he could feel Ryan's heart slowing. Beat by beat, it was slowing down,and they were running out of time, and he tried. He tried so hard. Even though his eyes were swimming, and he could feel his power leaking out with the bloody tears streaming down his face, he was still trying to make Ryan stay. Even though his arm felt like it was on fire just like his leg, he was still trying._

“ _No. You're dying too, Shel. And if you die, Theo dies too. I can't do that to you. I love-” Ryan gasped, and he clenched his eyes shut. Sheldon watched as Ryan's lips moved again without sound._

“ _I love you both. Now let me go.” His voice grew cold, and it was then hell broke loose._

Sheldon jerked awake and swore as the abrupt movement sent waves of agony through his broken and mangled knee and his arm.  He had to close his eyes and grit his teeth to ride through the throbbing, bone-deep pain the movement had caused.

He wasn't successful, he figured out, when he felt Jose gently pull him into an embrace and kiss his forehead and kiss the tears that no matter how many times he promised he wouldn't let spill, always did. He always hated when he woke up, that his face was wet. At least it wasn't blood, as it had been the first couple of weeks after Ryan's death. Jose hadn't kissed those tears away. Only wiped them away with a cloth in the same gentle manner he had been using when dealing with him ever since. 

Sheldon wasn't sure what to make of that role reversal. He didn't dare ponder it. Just accepted it, because he knew that if he started to actively unravel his feelings, he would completely fall apart in the process. And he was already too cracked, too broken, to risk it. 

So he accepted it. Not with grace. And not with ease, but he accepted that Jose was now the Alpha and probably would be for the foreseeable future. He was too tired and too hurt and too sad to fight. 

“Nightmare?” Jose asked softly as he stroked Shel's hair away from his forehead. It was still short. Too short for it to curl and too short for it to go in those loose waves. It would take time. Everything seemed to be taking more time with Shel, it seemed.

“Yeah.” Sheldon whispered back as he let his head rest on Jose's chest and closed his eyes. The pain was still there. Seemed to always be there. But when Jose comforted him, it would recede. Sheldon would think, just for a brief time, that things were back to normal again. But that was a very brief interval. The dull ache would always come back, and he wouldn't be able to do anything more than lie in bed, propped up by pillows, drifting in and out of consciousness whenever the pain-killers wore off.

His wounds, as much as he hated to admit it, were almost human slow in healing. Maybe it was him getting old. He honestly didn't remember an Alpha his age before. In his pack, they all died before they even reached their thirties. That was just how it was, being an Alpha. He had accepted that outcome when he had challenged the last Alpha for the position. 

What he hadn't bargained for was being torn apart from the inside out and surviving it without a clue as to how to continue. He hadn't felt this lost since he was thirteen and had metamorphed and had to face the Alpha for his first blooding while he was terrified and sick as a dog. He had survived it though, with scars and several blank spots in his memories of how exactly that had come to be. But he had nightmares for months afterward, and his kookum had to take him out into the bush to finally get his head sorted out. 

As he lay there, being comforted by his Consort, he wondered if he was going to have to do that again. He needed to get his head back in the game. Even though he wasn't the ruling Alpha at the moment, he knew that he needed to step in the role. Tazer was capable in most things, but he still hadn't learned to separate his own emotions from his duties, and at this point in time the Western Pack would have fallen if Jose hadn't stepped in. 

Sharp was useless at the moment, consumed with taking care of Burish and Roy... was young and he'd lost his father and his blood scion at the same time. Sheldon had to admit that after Jose beat the crap out of Jonathan, he had become decent, and Sheldon counted him as a close friend. But they were both separated by grief and by duty, since Roy had taken over his father's old seat in the East and had work to do, incorporating the exiles of the Midwestern Pack and pulling in more of the Gypsies into their alliance. 

He sighed deeply before he lifted his head and looked at his Consort. 

This Jose wasn't the same one that he had taken under his wing all those years ago. He still remembered the twitchy, abused  _loup_  he had picked up after finding him beaten and bruised almost to a pulp. How frail his body had felt as he had carried him out of that room. How his eyes had flashed a scared gold whenever he perceived danger around him. 

This  _loup_ wasn't that man. This Jose's eyes were a dark emerald green, and his gaze was one of cool appraisal. His features were still handsome, but hardened. The scars across his face did little to dispel this impression, just like the short hair that was shoved ruthlessly back. 

As he took in his Consort's features, Sheldon remembered that even though Jose had been beaten and bloody and breakable...he still had enough strength and will to lash out.  He still had the scars of that bite and had despised them at first. But as his love had coalesced and grown, he looked at them as the real beginning of the most honest and rewarding relationship he had ever been in.

“What is it?” Jose asked as his hand still stroked Sheldon's short hair back. He had hated that Sheldon wanted to cut off the long fall of hair that he had loved to wrap his hands in. He loved Sheldon's hair, the way it curled and how black it was with the hidden red highlights it would get in the summer when they would run in the forests of Cold Lake.

But he also understood why it had to be done and didn't flinch from cutting it off and braiding it. Just like he didn't flinch when he had to cut his hair off and perform the same ritual so that they would leave a piece of themselves with Ryan once they interred him. That was the tradition in the Pack, and he would fulfill it. Even if it hurt. 

“Just noticing how you have changed, since the first time we met.” Sheldon replied.

“You were so fragile and so alone. Now, it's the opposite.”

Jose opened his mouth to protest, but Sheldon smiled sadly and shook his head. 

“We both know it's true. I was always a fighter. That was how I won the privilege of being the Alpha. I was destined to die on the field. I wasn't really expecting to survive this long.”

Although it stung to hear, Jose was glad that Sheldon was finally letting him see what was going on in his head. He had been away, being the ruler, and cleaning up Tazer's messes and keeping him in line with the Burish situation. He was gone most of the time, and when he was back, Sheldon was usually plagued by nightmares and quietly sullen. He was so quiet that Jose couldn't hear or feel anything through the link that they shared. 

The last time he had let his control slip was when he had been so heavily drugged he had no idea what was going on, and Jose had seen the answer to the question that he didn't dare ask. No matter how much he had wanted to. 

“So you want to die now that it's hard?” Jose asked quietly, his hand still stroking Sheldon's hair.

“No. I don't. I'm just...I'm lost...I had a role. I knew how to fulfill it. And now, I don't know where I stand. I don't know if I like the role I have now. Or if I will get back to who I used to be, and that's fucking terrifying to me. I was the protector. I was the fighter...and now...I'm broken as all out and in need of protection.”

He sighed and went limp in Jose's arms. 

“How can I be the Alpha, when I don't know if I'll heal? How can I be an Alpha being this weak?”

Jose pressed his lips to Sheldon's forehead in a chaste kiss meant to reassure the other  _loup._

“What will I do then?” He asked in a thoroughly defeated voice.

“The way I see it, you can do one of two things. You can either let this define you for the rest of your life, however long that is, and stay sunken in self-pity and self-loathing and possibly never get better. Or you can rise above it. I can't do it for you. You have to do it for yourself. Just like I had to do it when I first came to you.”

Jose replied as he met his Alpha's eyes, which were still a dark, deep green. Perhaps a bit dulled with pain and worry, but still green. He hated to admit it, but when Ryan had died, Shel's eyes had changed, and that had scared him more than he wanted to admit. It had been right before they had unleashed their grief, he had seen Shel's face stained with blood and his eyes dark pits in his face. 

It had haunted his dreams and the quiet moments he seldom had to himself any longer, now that he was the Alpha. He wasn't as hard as he would have liked to have been on Shel, because he had been there. Had had his moments of doubt after being smacked down by life again. Had the same fear, that nothing was going to change and that everything was going to stay the same. 

He honestly didn't know exactly how he came out of it. It had taken a long time, to believe that he had a purpose in life other than just being someone's whipping boy. Despite the patience that Shel had shown him, the caring and the slow building of trust...it had still taken years for him to undo his past preconceptions. It had taken longer to get rid of the physical reactions. 

He knew it wasn't quite the same. Shel hadn't been brutalized and abused. But he was still traumatized. Kesler hadn't done the dirty work himself, but he had made sure that Sheldon would be good and broken by the time the war was over and done. 

Jose didn't much think about the actual war. He already had enough nightmare material to last a lifetime and then some. But the sight of his Alpha being overwhelmed, his right foreleg shattered and his backleg in the same position was simply one sight that wouldn't leave him, no matter how hard he tried. 

If it hadn't been for Malone and Lecavalier, Ryan wouldn't have been the only one that would have been dead. They had driven the wolves off that Shel hadn't killed. They had helped them get away and to Ryan, who was just barely hanging on, waiting for them to come. 

The silver poisoning, he always guessed, had started to set in then. That had been three heavy blows that Shel had to absorb, and he still hadn't been able to recover from them. Whether he realized it or not, he was still there. And the nightmares proved it. 

Shel had been forced to face his three worst fears, and even though he had come through them, he was mentally and emotionally broken. And Jose hated himself for not seeing the signs earlier. Even though most of them had been masked by the medication and Shel's stubborn silence, he still blamed himself for not being more vigilant. 

He needed his Alpha back. Not to coddle him or protect him. He just wanted  _his_  Shel back. The one that used to wake him up with kisses on his eyelids. Who held him when the night haunts got too bad. Who knew instinctively when to move closer and when he needed that light touch on the inside of his wrist. Who let him seduce him on his workdesk despite the pile of papers on it. 

The one who would leave him bruised and sated and bleeding, no matter what time of day. Who sat with him and watched the rain streak the window panes and let him laze around in bed if it was possible. He wanted that  _loup_ back. 

But even as he thought all these things, he knew that it could be possible that Shel wouldn't be the one that he would get. He didn't doubt that Shel would find his way out. That was a given and a matter of time. He did doubt, however, whether it was going to be the Shel that he had been with for almost eight years. 

Jose pushed that doubt forcefully away before it coloured both of their perceptions. He took a deep breath and instead said the first thing that came to his mind. 

“You told me, just now, that I had changed. Just like you have changed. I would not have wished this for you. It is cruel, and it hurts to see you like this. To have my hands tied, because there is nothing I can do for you. This is your battle. I know you have fought so many before. But not like this one. I can only hold your hand. Offer you a shoulder to cry on when you need it. But the rest is up to you,  _coeur._ ”

“I know. And don't feel bad for saying it, Theo.” Sheldon told him as he reached up with his good hand and cupped his face as he used to do before. Jose's eyes closed half-way as he savoured the feel of Shel's rough, calloused hand on his face. He had missed that so much. The comfort that Shel touching his face always brought him. He didn't realize how much he had missed that until it was back again.

“I needed to hear it...because...I've never lost like I did in this fucking war. I got cut down and couldn't protect you. Couldn't protect Ryan from it all and it hurt. Hurt when he wouldn't let me save him. He was right. But it still hurt to hear him tell me to let him go. I didn't want to let him go.”

Jose swallowed hard at the torrent of words and the guilt pouring out of Shel. 

“I know you didn't,  _coeur_. I know you always wanted to protect us. But it was not your fault. You fought. I watched you take down three wolves before the rest came. You were willing to sacrifice yourself for Ryan, even if it meant you would die instead of him. It was not your fault.”

“In my head, I know this. Everything you're saying makes sense, love. But understanding it in my head and really getting it...I don't know. And...I know you miss him. I just...I've never lost anyone before, and I feel like a fucking whingy bitch for feeling like this. For not getting better...even though it's stupid to feel and think that way.”

Sheldon finished, his thumb slowly stroking Jose's lips the whole time he was speaking. 

“It will pass. Now that you talked about it. It does. I just wish...I wish I could tell you when exactly that will happen. But I do not know.”

Shel laughed softly as he shifted slightly so that he wasn't lying on Jose and instead was lying beside him on the bed. It was awkward and a bit painful, but he managed it. 

“As long as it passes. And you're here. It's not as fucking bleak or as scary anymore. Nor so hopeless.”

Jose swallowed hard at Shel's words. Even though he was relieved and could taste the truth in them, it still hurt to hear them. It was another thing that he guessed he would have to get used to: Being the one to say everything would be okay, even though he didn't have a fucking clue how it could be. 

He didn't say anything and instead just grabbed Shel, like he used to and kissed him hard. All lips and teeth and tongue, not caring that he got bitten and he could taste blood. Shel didn't care either and gave as good as he got, showing Jose that it was fucked up and broken and weird...but it was going to be okay somehow. 

“ _You will be okay. It will all be okay.”_

“ _I now see it.I trust it, because you're the one saying it.”_

Jose pushed Shel on his back after that. Shel didn't fight him as he normally would have. In fact, he splayed out, careful of his knee and arm and looked at Jose, with eyes that were not as clouded or dull as they had been when he had just woken up from the nightmare. 

Eyes that were daring him to do something, anything to prove that he meant everything that had been said. 

Neither of them wanted it to be slow or languid. Nor gentle. They always needed to mark, to make it hurt and to get everything out. He bit Shel hard as he covered his Alpha with his body, his hands skimming and roaming about his chest, down his torso and to his hips. He paused there and lifted himself up to give the rapidly hardening cock a few quick pulls. Rough and fast, but enough to do the job before his fingers moved to his entrance. 

Jose stopped and looked at Shel, who gave him a quick nod. Jose had his fingers in Shel, making him wince slightly as Jose stretched him out quickly and without finesse. He pulled his fingers out and moved so that Shel could pull his good leg closer to his chest. Jose got into position, fumbling and fast as he thrust into Shel. 

It wasn't pretty afterward. Shel encouraged him, by capturing his mouth and biting his lip hard. Jose didn't stop to think about it and just pulled away to bite his neck right at his pulse point. He thrust hard, and he knew when Shel dragged his nails down his back, there were going to be marks after they stopped. He retaliated by reaching in between them and roughly jerked Shel off, making his thrusts jerky and uneven, but still brutally fast and hard. 

It was the same with his orgasm: hard, fast and painfully so. Sheldon came after Jose thrust in him a few more times and it was a drawn out howl that accompanied it. Jose fell heavily on Sheldon and they lay there, breathing heavily and sweaty, their skins stuck to each other's bodies. Shel had his fingers in his hair and his eyes were half shut as the post-coital drowsiness washed over him. 

“ _Missed you.”_ Jose mumbled sleepily.

“ _Me too. Missed you too. I won't go away anymore. Promise.”_

“ _I'm glad.”_

“ _Me too, love. Me too.”_

~*~*~*~*~ 

The next morning though, Jose woke up to find Sheldon gone and a note telling him that he was going to Cold Lake to be with his kookum and his original pack. And that he loved him very much. Nothing more. 

Jose didn't know if he should have been happy, or should have been upset that Sheldon had just up and left him like that. 

But he didn't have the luxury of feeling sorry for himself and falling into melancholy, because his mate had gone to do the exact thing that he had requested of him. He wasn't going to be a big hypocrite, so he let it go. 

And pretended that it didn't hurt. And that he wasn't crying. 

But it was hard. Very hard to have had such an intimate night and wake up alone. He hadn't felt like that since the first time that they had mated and Sheldon had left him to go back to what had been his standard life. 

He didn't know that it would ever hurt like that again. 

Even though it wasn't forever. It still hurt. 

~*~*~*~*~ 

“How is Shel doing? It's been almost a month since the war and none of us have seen him.You keeping him in the attic or something?” Shane asked Jose once there was a lull in the conversation, which had consisted mostly of a progress report on the Pacific and the newly consolidated Pack and territories that came along with it.

“The attic?” Jose asked, his brow furrowing in confusion as he struggled to make the connection between the reference and his Alpha.

“You know? Because he hasn't been around?” Shane asked, waving his hand in large circles as he tried to get Jose with the program.

Jose blinked at Shane, clearly puzzled by the reference, until Shane sighed and shook his head. 

“Where is Sheldon, Jose?” Shane asked, realizing that despite the great work that Jose had been doing lately, he was putting in what looked to be tremendous amounts of effort to do so. If anything was presented to him that wasn't work, he simply blanked out.

Jose bit his lip and looked down at all the papers between them. He shuffled them around a bit before he finally answered Shane's question. 

“He went out West. To his home Pack.” Jose admitted softly.

“To see his grandmother? His kookum?” Shane asked. Jose nodded.

“He just...he just left. Just wrote a note and he was gone.” Jose shook his head and laughed, but there was no mirth in the forced sound.

“I know...that he's going to come back. That he had to go because he needs to heal. Needs to get his head screwed on right. But I do not understand why he had to leave like he did. Nor do I understand why he's been silent all this time.” Jose tried to force the laugh again, but it ended up turning into a wet sob that Shane just  _knew_ was the precursor of a crying jag. A storm that he was actually surprised didn't happen sooner. Jose had been running the Pack mostly alone, and even though Sheldon wasn't fully there, Jose's strength lay in having Sheldon near. They hadn't been apart in almost eight years, Shane realized. Nor had they gone for any length of time without communication.

Once Shane realized that, he had to admit that Jose was much stronger than he gave him credit for, since anyone else weaker would have already cracked. 

Shane bit his lip and moved closer to Jose, who had slumped in his seat and was looking down at the papers spread in front of him. His thin shoulders were shaking, and Shane swore quietly when he realized that Jose had started to cry. Quietly, but the tears slipping down his cheeks, and his chest was heaving and the sight made Shane bite his lip. Not just because he was crying, but also because he hadn't seen this side of Jose in years. 

Shane had disliked the idea of Jose joining the Western Pack as Sheldon's Consort. He had hoped that his own cousin could have been suitable for the role, and he had resented the timid and weak  _loup_  that Sheldon had brought into their court. His stance had softened when he had accidentally witnessed Jose breaking down in that silent sorrow. He knew then, that Jose must have had some hell to go through if he had learned to silently weep and keep it all inside until it was simply too much to bear. 

And seeing this come back made Shane's compassion and protective nature come out full-force. It was true that he wasn't under Sheldon's command, but he still felt honour-bound to protect the Consort on his behalf. In any way that he possibly could. 

And he supposed that included comforting the Consort when the Alpha was off doing whatever it was that part of the Pack did. Even with Carey, he wasn't quite sure what went on with that side of the family. And he wasn't ever going to pry. He had that much respect for them. 

Shane moved closer to Jose and hesitated only for a brief second before he cautiously wrapped his arm around Jose's shoulders and pulled him closer. Jose sighed and gratefully leaned into the comfort the bigger  _loup_ offered him. 

“Hey...he's not doing it on purpose. That's just how his people are.” Shane murmured, while Jose cried out the last of his sorrow at having his Alpha gone and silent.

“I know,” Jose replied in a tear-clogged voice. “I know. But that just makes it worse. He is gone somewhere I cannot follow. I know he will come back. But with Ryan gone...it feels like I have been left behind again. It is stupid and childish, but I cannot help feeling this way.”

“It's not. He's not been away from you in eight years. It's perfectly normal to miss those we share our lives with.” Shane soothed him, his hand unconsciously rubbing Jose's thin shoulder in an effort to soothe and ease the sadness in the Consort.

Jose didn't reply to that and sighed deeply, his body going even more lax at the warmth coming from Shane's body. He let his eyes half-close and breathed in deeply. It could almost be the same as being with Sheldon, he thought drowsily. The same feeling of being safe and warm and  _loved_ were all there. Feelings that hadn't been there in almost two months, if he was honest. 

They sat like that for more than a few minutes, he was sure of that. His eyes were closed and he was that close to falling asleep and forgetting the Pack business in front of him. Besides, it was nearly done anyway. 

“Theo? Did you fall asleep?” Shane's question though, jerked him out of that state and he looked up to find Shane's face mere inches from his.

They looked at each other for several moments, light green eyes meeting dark green ones for a split second before their lips met in a kiss that neither of them expected to happen between them. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Jose woke up alone that morning, and he couldn't help but to admit that he was glad of that. 

“ _I hope you feel better now”_ was all the note said and he was glad that Shane didn't sign his name and that his handwriting was nondescript.

He sat up and rubbed his face roughly to scrub the sleep away and to give himself time to think about the situation. 

He couldn't say he regretted what happened between him and Shane. None of it. 

Shane understood. All of it and hadn't balked or pulled away from him the entire night that they had been together. Jose hadn't expected him to stay in the morning. That would have crossed a line and made everything more complicated than it had turned out to be. 

Jose sighed and pulled his knees under his chin. He didn't feel guity. He felt calm and relieved for the first time in a very long time. More confident that he would be able to handle anything that was thrown his way. Not to mention patient. 

His Apha would come back soon. He would be close to being the same as he was before. 

It would be okay. 

~*~*~*~*~ 

Sheldon came back in the middle of the night, almost six weeks later. That Jose knew for sure, since he felt a strong tug in their connection even while he was asleep. The next morning though, he got his confirmation. 

“Fucking shit.” Jose woke up to the clatter of something being dropped in the bathroom and Shel swearing, which sort of made him smile as he opened his eyes and sat up, letting the sheets pool around his groin as he watched Shel pick up the comb that he had dropped on the floor and start to comb his hair out of his face.

He heard more mutterings and grumblings and finally decided to get up and put his Alpha in a better mood. He hadn't seen Shel in almost six weeks, and he couldn't contain himself at having his Alpha back. 

He went to the bathroom and stood in the doorway, watching as Shel dragged the comb in impatient strokes due to the brace around his still fragile wrist and arm. 

He frowned at himself and then switched hands, making the task easier, but still not getting his hair perfectly like he wanted. 

“Let me,  _coeur.”_ Jose said as he entered the bathroom and held out his hand for the comb. Shel frowned, but relinquished the comb. As mulish as he could be about doing it himself and pushing himself, he knew when to give in gracefully. Besides, he knew that his Theo would do a fantastic job anyway. So he sat down on the toilet and waited for Theo to make him look presentable rather than have goofy looking cowlicks all over the place.

And besides, it was always good to have Jose touching him, so he didn't mind. So much. 

“Done.  _Beaux comme tout le temps._ ” Jose whispered as he kissed Shel's forehead lightly before turning to the sink and brushing his teeth. He was all for morning affection. After he cleaned up.

“Thanks. Always good to hear.” Sheldon replied as he stood up and embraced his Consort.

“I missed you, love. It was too fucking long to be apart from you.” Shel whispered roughly before he kissed Jose passionately. So much so that Jose ended up pressed against the counter as his Alpha ravaged his mouth thoroughly before moving down to his neck and shoulder, leaving small bruises as he worked his way down.

“Missed you too.” Jose grunted out as he grabbed onto Shel's shoulders and held on for dear life.

“It had to be like that. I'm sorry I made you feel alone. I promise I will make it up to you. For everything you did when I fell apart. I promise.” Sheldon said, stopping the kissing long enough to cradle Jose's face in his hands and kiss his forehead once again.

“No. You do not have to. You did this and more for me. For so long. It was my privilege that I could do this for you and the Pack. Do not ever think that you owe me. Ever. You are my Alpha. I am your Consort. That is how it works.” Jose replied, standing on his tip-toes and kissing Shel long and deep, glad to feel those soft, plump lips under his again.

Shel laughed softly before he pushed a lock of hair away from Jose's face. 

“Yeah, you're right. Either way, I want to make it up to you. Especially after this meeting, which I am sure will not be fun times had by all.” Sheldon commented as he pulled away and walked out to the bedroom to finish getting dressed.

Jose finished cleaning up and watched him, a slight bit of pride touching his heart as he saw him move in the same easy, confident stride that had caught his eye so long ago. 

He hated to admit it, but his long absence had done him well. He knew that Sheldon wouldn't ever speak of what had gone on out in the West. He didn't frankly give a damn. All he cared about was having his mate, his Alpha back. The rest could be damned, for all he cared. 

“You'd better get dressed, Theo. The meeting's in 30 minutes.” Sheldon reminded him as he pulled out a dark wine red tie and the charcoal suit jacket that went with the trousers and black shirt he had chosen to wear that morning.

Jose groaned at the information as he walked towards their closet and looked at his suits. 

“I wish Tazer would get that stick out of his ass already. This is pure torment, having to have meetings this early in the morning.” Jose muttered as he pulled out a soft dark grey suit, blue shirt and charcoal tie.

Sheldon snorted as he pulled on his suit jacket and hung the tie around his neck. There was no way that he was going to get a Windsor knot. Getting a knot in his tie perfect wasn't one of his many skills, so he would have to wait. 

“He's going to have to, after this meeting. I'm actually pretty fucking pissed at him. The rest of the Pack isn't impressed with him. Carey and Shane's people aren't either.” Sheldon commented as he watched Jose expertly fix up his tie.

“So what do you think we should do?” Jose asked as he worked on his own tie and gave his own attire a critical look.

Sheldon smiled grimly. “What is necessary for the Pack. Just like I always have done and you have been doing recently.” 

Jose cast a sharp glance at his Alpha. Sheldon met his gaze coolly, making Jose give him a sharp nod. 

“You have learned.” Sheldon commented softly. “Good. Now let's go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song quoted is "Run" by Snow Patrol


	4. Max/Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Max are getting closer. Sheldon's back and Max has to make a choice. Kaner too, has made a decision that will have further repercussions on Adam than he would have ever imagined.

“ _Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess”-Snow Patrol_

 

“Will you come for brunch tomorrow?” Adam asked Max as they played Mario-Kart in the living room. They were both sitting on the chesterfield (as Roy tended to refer to it, which amused Sharpie and Max to no end and simply confused the fuck out of Bur) and interfering with each other in an effort to get ahead.

 

“No. I can't. Sheldon's back and there's a Council Meeting to attend. You don't have to be there, so you can take it easy.” Max replied as he steered Mario ahead of Adam. And nudged him a bit, careful to not really make it hurt. Max knew that Bur was tough and strong, but it still didn't stop him from treating the other loup like glass. Max had never forgotten how defeated and hopeless Bur had looked that night he had gone to apologize, and he  _knew_ that Bur needed to be handled with care. Even more care than usual, since there was still so much uncertainty in his life. Until the pup was born, nothing was for sure with Bur.

 

“Shit. Really? That's good news, right?” Adam asked as he outmanouvered Max to win the game. He turned off his controller, and looked at Max.

 

“I think so, since he  _is_ the Alpha of the West, despite Tazer having the title.” Max replied thoughtfully as he also turned off the game and turned to look at Adam, who was nervously playing with the hem of his plaid shirt.

 

“Why do you have to be there? Wouldn't it make sense for it to just be a Western Pack meeting only?”

 

Adam asked, wincing slightly and rubbing his belly. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down for the sake of the baby. Max watched him and bit his lip as he sensed Adam's turmoil at the news. He could have kicked himself for upsetting him like that, but it was done. He couldn't take the words back. 

 

“ _Bien ici._ ” Max wrapped his arm around Bur's shoulders and pulled him closer. He waited until Bur had settled against him before he slid his hand under Bur's t-shirt and started to rub his belly gently and slowly.

 

“Don't worry, Bur. It's not good for the pup.” Max chided him gently as he kept on rubbing Bur's belly, which had gotten larger now that he was getting closer to the end. He still had two and a half months to go, but the doctor had explained to both of them (Max had somehow found himself with Bur every time that the doctor examined him and he had to privately wonder if Sharpie and Roy had planned for that to happen) that the last stretch was when the pup would get bigger. It also meant that Bur would have to put on weight, since he was in a risky pregnancy and could have the baby before his due date.

 

“I know. I know. I just...what if Sheldon sides with Tazer?” Bur whispered as he put his hand back on his belly.

 

“He won't. Even if and that's a big “if”, Jose wouldn't let that pass without a fight. Besides, they both lost their mate. Even if the pup was Kesler's,” Max paused and met Bur's gaze levelly before he continued on, “he wouldn't dream of ordering a pup to death. His people love children. Even more than in our culture. So no. You don't have to worry.”

 

Bur exhaled and nodded, but he still worried his lower lip. He finally stopped and sighed deeply as Max's caresses started working their magic and calmed down the baby. Bur snuggled in deeper into Max's embrace and simply let himself enjoy it. This was something that, despite it having become a fixture of their time together, never failed to make a jolt of warmth go through Max's belly. 

 

Max never lied to himself before, and he wasn't about to start. He knew that Bur was taking a different position than close friend. He had watched the slow progression and he had known that if he hadn't wanted it to come to this stage, he would have done something about it long before. He hadn't. So now it was simply a question of moving forward and damn it all to hell. 

 

He wasn't a fucking coward, and he had to admit that he could have done a hell of a lot worse than Bur to fall in love with. Now all that Max had to do was figure out when it was the right time to come clean about his feelings. And what to do if Bur didn't reciprocate those feelings. 

 

“And to actually answer your question: We were all invited to come to this meeting. Sheldon knows he needs to make a formal announcement about what has happened in his absence.”

 

Adam groaned. “Meaning what's going on with Tazer and me.” 

 

“I don't know if that's it for sure, but I do know that Sheldon means to take back the reins of the Western Pack and make a formal announcement regarding Jose's role as well. Sid's away at the moment, so the Eastern Council will be there. I'm to show up on your behalf, since the Midwestern Pack question is still up in the air. I doubt that Sheldon's mind will be solely focused on whose pup you're having.”

 

Adam made a noise of agreement at that and closed his eyes. They sat in a comfortable silence that stretched out so long that Max thought Adam was asleep. He was about to gently shift out from under Bur and head on to his rooms when Adam spoke up. 

 

“Does it matter to you, whose pup I'm having?” Adam asked softly, turning his head to look at Max for his answer.

 

“Should it?” Max asked in return. Adam squawked indignantly.

 

“You can't answer with a question! Come on! I'm serious!” Adam knew he sounded perilously close to whinging, but he needed to know if Max had changed his mind from the first time the situation had come up.

 

“Bur...It doesn't matter to me, because...fuck...are you seriously that blind? Do you think that if it were anyone who was just a friend that I'd be sitting here cuddling them and rubbing their stomach and spending all my free time with them and accompanying them to the doctor? You're more than just a friend to me.” Max replied, deciding to bite the bullet and lay it all out in the open, since they were being honest with each other.

 

Bur's eyes widened and they glowed a light blue as he took in Max's almost-monologue, but heart-felt answer. 

 

“No. I'm not that blind. Although the cuddling thing I put to you being French and a loup, since Roy tends to get that way whether Sharpie's here or not. I just wanted to make sure that it was true, and I wasn't imagining it. I don't think that I could take another friend leaving abruptly because of the pup.” Bur replied.

 

Max shook his head and before Bur could react, captured his lips in a gentle kiss. He pulled away slowly and looked at Bur as he weighed his next words carefully. He didn't want to overdo it, but he also wanted to be clear about where he stood in admitting the depths of his feelings for Bur and the pup. 

 

“I may be a lot of things, Bur. But I'm neither a jerk nor am I a coward. And I won't leave you. Whether we work out or not...I'll do my best to be there for you and the pup. You're a good guy, Bur. I'd be a fucking idiot to let you walk out of my life. I mean it.”

 

Bur blinked quickly, and Max slid his hand out from under Bur's shirt and reached up to wipe the tears away that were threatening to spill over on his cheeks. He really didn't need to say anything else. Max was almost floored with the joy and happiness that his words had brought up in Bur. But he understood too, that Bur needed to explain himself, since he was still not used to really expressing his feelings. It wasn't that he was repressed, but rather, it was a fear that he would be rejected yet again. 

 

“Thanks. I'm just...God. I hate these freaking hormones. Everything gets magnified. I'm stunned to hear it, to be honest. You're basically the best thing that has happened to me since I agreed to be a double agent.”

 

Max winced at that. He never once thought that Bur had such a low opinion of himself to sacrifice himself for friends that later turned on him. Well, if he was fair, Sharp never turned on him. He could have easily fobbed him off on Sid and the East, since he knew what buttons to push so that Bur asked Jose to let him go. But he didn't, and Max, on the few times that they spent time together, could pick up a thin thread of worry and guilt from Sharp whenever he looked at Bur. Max could also pick up relief whenever Sharp looked at him alone, so he could dismiss the other emotions that emanated from the other loup. 

 

Either way, it made him sad. Bur was a good guy, and Max honestly hadn't clicked with anyone so well as he did with Bur. Despite the moodswings, which Max had to admit had made him flee for a bit and make peace offerings of dulce de leche Haagen-Dazs to get in Bur's good graces, they usually had a really good time together. So much so that Flower and Tanger had commented on how little they saw of him lately. He hadn't meant to avoid his friends, but they had each other. Bur didn't really have anyone else, and as time went on Max had grown to want Bur. To be the friend and partner that fate had screwed him out of. 

 

“Thanks. Just don't let Sid or Tanger or Flower know. They'd just say I paid you to say that.”

 

Bur laughed so hard that when Max went to his rooms, he was still warmed by the echo of Bur's laughter. No matter how hard he tried to bring it forward, it was still all too rare to hear it. Yeah, it was sort of sappy for him to even admit it just himself, but he counted it a victory whenever he could make Bur laugh. It made him hopeful that once the pup was born, things had the potential to be okay. 

 

~*~*~*~* 

 

Max kept that hope in mind the next morning as he took his customary seat beside Tanger and Flower and waited for the rest of the loups to arrive. Tazer was already there, along with a sullen looking Kaner. Sharpie and Roy nodded at each other and went to sit on separate sides of the table. Hiller, Ovechkin and Diaz represented the European Council, and they spoke softly among themselves as they watched the door anxiously. Diaz hadn't seen the Alpha and Ovechkin and Hiller were waiting to see if he was back to the Alpha that had fought in the November Wars and won. Max tasted their apprehension and eagerness to see him, and he had to admit that he too, wanted to see this legendary Alpha in the flesh. Henke, Sid and the Ulfric were back in Sweden in order to broker an alliance with the Saami and had sent their apologies and their promises to come back once everything had been sorted out in the Saamiland. 

 

Shane, Carey and Danny arrived next. Danny was still in his wheelchair, and Max felt a pang of pity at the sight of Carey pushing the wheelchair and parking it at the table. Shane sat on his left and Carey on his right, providing a barrier in case it was needed. Max didn't think it was necessary, but then he knew that the Western and Pacific Packs were horribly territorial regarding their mates. Even though he could see that Danny had gained some colour and looked better, he could understand why Carey and Shane felt the need to protect him. He felt that way with Bur, even though he was sure that the other loup could take care of himself if the situation called for it. Hall and Eberle were there, sitting in their respective camps. Paajaarvi was missing, having gone back to his home country as per the orders of his Ulfric. 

 

“He's really back.” Tanger murmured to him as they watched the Alpha and the Consort of the West arrive.

 

Sheldon came in, dressed impeccably in a charcoal suit with a dark red tie and his Consort beside him, in a lighter grey suit and blue tie. Both moved with the easy confidence of men who were used to giving commands and seeing them carried out. His eyes, though, were the difference: a dark, glowing emerald that spoke of power and vigour that hadn't been there since Ryan had died. Jose too, seemed as if he had gotten more of a lease on life now that his mate was walking right beside him. It was subtle, but it was there, the completeness of them and the proof that even though they had suffered a grievous blow, it hadn't killed them. They had survived it, and that had made them stronger and more sure in the bond they had with each other. 

 

They didn't speak until they had been seated, and when they were it was Sheldon that spoke. 

 

“I want to welcome you all here, at this early meeting called by the Alpha Precedent and my Consort in my absence. Before we begin, I want to formally announce that I will be taking up my position as Alpha Reignant. My Consort, Jose Theodore, will also have the same powers as I do and will continue to exercise them as he sees fit in my absence or my indisposition. We hold equal power, as he has proven capable of ruling the Pack in my absence. Does anyone have any objections to this announcement?”

 

Although Tazer was looking down at the table and blushing hotly, he didn't dare question the Alpha and his Consort. Kaner had a hand on his mate's shoulder and shook his head. He had known it was going to happen and had warned his mate. But even he didn't know how volatile Tazer could prove at losing his position. 

 

“We haven't any objections. We like that you are back.” Hiller informed the Alpha, who smiled and inclined his head at the compliment.

 

“Sid isn't here, but we all speak for the Eastern Courts. We are glad to see you back in your role.” Roy told him, his eyes bright and his mouth curling into a faint smile, before he too sat down.

 

“Good to see you back, Shel,and of course we haven't got any objections.” Shane spoke for Carey and Danny, who nodded their heads in agreement.

 

“Shane. Carey. Daniel. Thank you for coming. And I appreciate your words of support.” Sheldon replied gravely, inclining his head in acknowledgement at their presence, since Danny was still in the process of recovering and had his pup with him as well.

 

“The business will now begin.” Jose announced as he handed out thin folders with the day's agenda.

 

“The Ulfric is in Sweden and once he is done completing his deals with the Saami, we will also broker deals with them as well. The Western Pack, along with the Pacific Packs, have taken in the remainders of the Midwestern Pack. There have been seven pups born. All male.”

 

Max and the rest nodded. At least the packs would grow without having to bite and bring in unsuspecting humans that may or may not have made good Pack. He also supposed that Bur's pup would be part of that generation, but belong to the Eastern Pack instead. 

 

“They have accepted fealty. As for the newly turned, Jose has looked at their petitions, and we will approve of them joining the Eastern Pack, since that makes the most geographical sense.”

 

Roy and Flower smiled and nodded their agreement. They needed new blood in their pack and with the addition of loups that could breed, it was a blessing for the weakest Pack in North America. 

 

“The other piece of business concerns one Adam Burish. As per Jose's ruling, he has been staying with the Western Regent and the Eastern Council, until he changes his mind otherwise, or until the pup is born.”

 

Sheldon looked at Jose, who gave him an almost imperceptible nod before he continued. 

 

“Unless there is opposition, the Consort and I want him under our care permanently. We would take him to the West to the Elk Point Grounds until the pup is born and he can return to his team.”

 

“No. NO.” Max found himself saying loudly at the announcement. Sheldon and Jose simply looked at him, while Sheldon inclined his head and waited for him to continue.

 

“With all due respect to you and the Consort, I object because I claim him as my mate. I would also request that his pup be adopted into the Eastern Court as I was, since the Midwestern Pack is no more. I am the eldest remaining of my pack, so I am well within my rights to make that claim.”

 

“Would you move him to the Eastern Wing then?” Sharp asked quietly, his voice straining for neutral, but it still sounded brittle and pained to Max's ears. Kaner simply nodded while Tazer kept his eyes on the table. He was smart enough to keep whatever objections he may have had to himself and simply listened, like the Europeans.

 

“No. He's comfortable living with the Regent and the Councillor. I visit him every chance I get. I don't want to cause any more stress, not when he is so close to having his pup.”

 

It's a very diplomatic move on Max's part, but it is painfully obvious that the stress he is referring to is the rift between Tazer and Bur. Kaner, for his part, looked like he wanted to cry, and it made Max recall some of the more emotional conversations he had with Bur about missing the younger loup. He always looked at Kaner like a younger brother, and there were days where Bur did cry when he spoke of earlier times with Kaner and Tazer. 

 

Sheldon and Jose exchanged one of those looks again before they turned to look at Max, who squirmed under the combined gaze of those dark green eyes. 

 

“We have taken your objection into consideration, and we will withdraw our earlier motion. Once his pup is born and your Eastern Alpha is present, we shall put the petition forward for the pup to be adopted into the Eastern Court. Does anyone else object to Talbot's request?”

 

Shane, Carey and Danny conferred briefly and shook their heads. The European wolves also shook their heads. The Eastern Court remained quiet, waiting for the verdict to be announced. 

 

“Your request will go forward. He shall remain where he is, but is now your responsibility and your ward.”

 

Max inclined his head. “Thank you.” 

 

Sheldon looked down at the agenda. “Now, if there's no other business, we shall-” 

 

“I have a request to make.” Kaner's voice cut through whatever Sheldon was about to say, and everyone at the table immediately turned their heads to look at Kaner.

 

“What is it?” Jose asked while Sheldon held back, his gaze calculating as he took the young loup in.

 

“I am requesting a temporary separation from my mate and permission to live with the Regent and Adam Burish also.”

~*~*~*~* 

“Are you fucking cheating, Caelan?” Adam asked, only half-serious as they played the standard favourite of Mario-Kart while everyone else was at the meeting called by Sheldon and Jose.

 

“How can anyone cheat at this game?” Caelan retorted. “Maybe I'm just better than you.”

 

Adam snorted as he pulled out a tricky manouver that left Caelan spinning and got him ahead in the race. 

“Well, I guess if I just played all day, I'd be winning too.” Caelan commented as he put his controller down.

 

“There's not much else to do when you're as big as a house.” Adam shot back. Although he understood that it was for his pup's health, he didn't like how big he had gotten. Nor how hard it was to move around and do stuff without feeling winded or downright exhausted and needing to lie down.

 

“You could always take up knitting?” Caelan suggested, one side of his mouth curling up in a smirk as he said it, making Adam glare at him. This made Caelan snort in ill-concealed laughter before finally giving up and snickering uncontrollably while Adam picked up one of the cushions littering the sofa and half-heartedly smacking him with it.

 

“Bur, are you beating on Breire's kid?” Sharpie asked as he took in the scene as he entered the living room.

 

“He deserves it, little shit. Telling me to take up knitting.” Adam replied as he kept on smacking Caelan, who was laughing so hard he was crying.

 

“Knitting? Well, you do need some hats for the kid. Wouldn't hurt to start making them, since it's so close.”

Adam stopped and glared at Sharpie, who walked by Caelan and exchanged a high five with the giggling pup. 

“Thanks, Sharpie. Here I thought you had my back.” Adam noted sourly as he shifted back, grunting in effort as he settled deeper into the sofa.

“Hey, the opening was there, I couldn't resist but to take it.” Sharpie returned as he disappeared into the kitchen. He returned with a beer and a couple of cans of Ginger Ale for Bur and Caelan.

 

“Opportunistic jerk.” Bur commented as he accepted the Ginger Ale from Sharpie and opened the can.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Flattery will get you nowhere.” Sharpie replied, sitting down next to his friend while Caelan dragged himself up on the love-seat, still snickering quietly to himself as he slammed down his drink.

 

Bur didn't answer him that time and instead drank some of the Ginger Ale. He wasn't really fond of it, but it helped to settle his touchy stomach and that was good enough for him. 

 

Sharpie himself took a long pull of his beer before he looked at Bur and swallowed his beer down. He really didn't want to tell Bur what had happened at the Western Pack's meeting. Sharpie didn't want to pull the rug under Bur again, especially now that he had gotten some kind of stability in his life. But he had to do it unless he wanted for Bur to drop the pup in the middle of the living room when Kaner showed up to their rooms. 

 

“How did the meeting go?” Bur asked him in an overly casual tone that didn't fool anyone in the room.

 

“Well. Caelan, your dad said that he and Carey are going to pick you up at one.” Sharpie told the pup that was trying to be subtle and pretend that he wasn't listening to whatever Sharpie was going to say next.

 

“Okay. I can take a hint. I'll see you later, Bur.” Caelan said as he got up and disappeared into Bur's room. Sharpie waited until he heard the door close before he turned to his friend.

 

“Sheldon's back in full force, man. Him and Jose...they're fucking scary now. Scarier than when Ryan was alive. They've basically come down on Tazer full force. He's only the Alpha in name. The West is theirs.”

 

Bur shivered at the news. Never had he heard that tone in Sharpie's words before: respect, admiration and love laced with a slight dose of fear. If Sharpie, who was one of their closest friends was afraid of the Alpha, and the Consort, than it would stand to reason that they were scary and powerful as hell. It also meant that they could and would make anything that they desired happen. 

 

“So what does that mean for us?” Bur asked after he had taken the time to digest the information.

 

“How do you feel about Max?” Sharpie asked instead, making Bur look at him with shock.

 

“I...I like him very much. What does that have to do with the Western Alpha and Consort?”

 

“Everything. He asked permission to claim you and adopt you and the pup for the Eastern Court.”

“What...what did they say?”

 

“They agreed. At first, they wanted to take you to the Alpha's grounds. But Max claimed you and the pup.”

 

“How did Tazer take it? I never meant for all this to turn out this way. I just...I just wish that it didn't seem like everyone is turning against Tazer. Even if he's a dick about the situation.” Bur noted sadly.

“I don't think it's just about the pup.It's just that even though Tazer is a good captain, he's not a good Alpha. In time, yeah. But right now, he's let his emotions overrule his good sense. The West is the more solid and stable of the territories. We can't afford to have a volatile and inexperienced leader when we're in such a precarious time.” Sharpie replied quietly.

 

“I just wish none of this had happened, you know? Fucking Kesler.” Adam sighed out.

 

“Yeah. I hear you. Fucking guy is still giving us headaches even after he's dead. Christ. What a troll.”

 

Bur laughed at that and even Sharpie had to smile. He didn't think he had been  _that_  funny, but if it made Bur laugh, he'd take it. Not that it would go far to make up for what he was putting Bur through. But it was something. For now, at least he could do that. When the pup was born, he'd make sure to do more. 

 

“Hey...you still didn't say how Tazer took everything.” Bur reminded Sharpie.

“He didn't stay for the entire meeting, actually. He uhm, took off.”

 

“Why the fuck did he do that? He's a fucking hardass for protocol and rules! What the fuck happened?”

 

“Hey, you bitches! What the fuck happened to my welcoming party?” Kaner's voice cut through their chambers before Sharpie could answer, and all he could do at that time was look at Bur.

 

“Jesus, what the fuck Sharpie? We let you go ahead for a reason! Holy Shit! Bur? What the fuck? You're massive! Christ! I'm gonna be an uncle! Awesome! I can't wait to spoil your spawn! How much longer?”

 

Kaner's questions were shot rapid fire as he leapt over to a seemingly frozen Bur, who could only blink at Kaner as the younger loup pressed his hand over Bur's belly. 

 

“You didn't tell him?” Sharpie looked up at his mate, who had suddenly materialized in front of him, giving him another unpleasant surprise. Despite Kaner fawning over the pup, Bur himself had turned a chalky white and was seemingly in shock.

“I was just about to. I was trying to soften the news, in case he dropped it on the rug!” Sharpie hissed back.

“Bur? Hey, Bur...you okay? Bur? What the fuck? Shit! Shit! Sharpie? Roy?”

 

They looked over to see Bur had slumped into Kaner's arms, the day's events having been too much for him. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“ _Mon Dieu._  That was totally unexpected.” Flower muttered as he, Tanger and Max made their way over to the Eastern Wing.

 

“No fucking kidding. I'm surprised Tazer didn't just lose it in the council room.” Tanger added as he unlocked the door and ushered them all in quickly.

 

“He must have seen it coming. Or maybe he's learned his lesson and decided to keep his mouth shut instead of digging himself deeper. He knows better than to fuck with Sheldon and Jose at the same time.”

 

Max noted as he loosened his tie and flopped down on the couch. Flower made a murmur of agreement and Tanger went into the kitchen area and came back with bottled water for all of them. 

 

“But still. Kaner asking for a separation and choosing Bur...that's bound to sting and reinforce his hatred of anything to do with Kesler. This, I doubt will end well.” Tanger commented as he uncapped his water and drank a quarter of it down in one large gulp.

 

“Like what? You think he's going to take it out on Bur?” Max asked sharply. Tanger frowned.

 

“He may be pissed off and hurt, but he's not stupid. I'm sorry that I put the idea in your head, Max. I just think that Tazer and Kaner aren't going to end well. And all that will happen is that Bur will just feel guilty about it and stress himself out. I don't see him taking it out on Bur. Despite everything, Tazer isn't an utter twatwaffle to hit a breeding loup. Especially not one that he counted as a close friend and played beside with for years.”

Tanger explained, making the worried expression on Max's face disappear as he mulled over Tanger's words. 

 

Flower put his bottle down and looked at the clock on the wall, mentally calculating the time difference between Montreal and Are. He needed to let Sid know all that happened at the meeting and what his feelings would be about Max claiming Bur and his pup for the East. He didn't think that there would be a problem, but just in case, it wouldn't hurt for the Eastern Alpha to know about that as well as about Kaner and Tazer's separation. Flower was sure that this would be something that could come to haunt them if no contingency plans were laid, especially if Kaner decided to petition to permanently separate and join the East. 

 

“I don't think you should be the one to tell him about the separation. Everything else, yes. But not that. In fact-” Flower was cut off by the loud banging on their door, making them all look at each other before Max got up and went to the door. He pulled the door open to reveal a wheezing Caelan.

 

“You...gotta come, man. Bur's gone into labour.” Briere's pup managed to get out between gulps of air.

 

~*~*~*~*~* 

“I'm so sorry. I really am, man.” Kaner apologized to Max and Bur tearfully for the hundredth time that night as they waited by Bur's bedside for news.

“Dude, it's not your fault, all right? It's all going to be okay. Don't worry, okay?” Bur asked him weakly. Kaner sniffed, but nodded and squeezed Bur's left hand, while Max wordlessly did the same to his right.

Although Bur had passed out from the shock and had contractions, the doctors had stabilized him. That had been a few hours ago, but Bur was still feeling pain. Max and Kaner were doing their best to keep him calm and not aggravate the situation further. 

 

They sat quietly, the only sound being the monitors that Bur was hooked up to when the doctor arrived. 

“How are you feeling, Mr Burish?” The Doctor asked as he checked his vitals and made notes of it on his chart.

“Still hurts. Am I going to have the pup now?” Bur asked the doctor, his voice thin with pain and barely disguised fear for his pup.

 

“The contractions have stopped. We can keep you here and on medication, and that will stop them until you're at twenty-eight weeks.” The doctor told him without preamble.

 

“How is the baby though? What if that doesn't work? Will it survive?” Max asked hoarsely, making Bur gasp and tighten his grip on both Max and Kaner's hands.

 

“The baby is stabilized for now. His vitals are strong, which is a good sign. But there are always unforeseen complications in premature births. And I know that Mr. Burish has been under immense stress, despite the efforts to make it not so. Although ideally, we would like to keep him from giving birth too soon, I have to warn you all that it is a very strong possibility we may not be able to prevent it.”

 

Max swallowed hard, and Kaner sniffed at that. It wasn't what they were expecting, but they supposed it would have to do. 

“Get some rest. All of you. It won't do for you to wear yourselves out. Especially you, Mr. Burish.” The doctor ordered them before he left the room.

“Fuck that shit.” Kaner muttered rebelliously. “I'm not leaving you alone, man. Not to get all sappy and shit, but yeah...I've fucking missed you, man. And you need me now. I ain't sleeping.”

 

Max snorted, but he had to admit that he admired the little twit's determination to stick by his friend. Kaner wasn't lying. His sadness and regret, as well as his love for Bur, was all too close to the surface for Max to not notice. He believed him, and that was why he let him stay. Also, it helped Bur, and he would do anything for him. 

That had been his last conscious thought before he was rudely yanked awake roughly ten hours later by the sheer horror emanating from Bur, who was saying “Oh God, Oh God, Oh God” over and over again. 

“What is it?” Kaner asked, his voice rough with sleep as he beat Max to the punch. But Bur didn't need to answer. The scent of blood that hung thick and heavy in the air was answer enough.

 

“Get the nurse and the doctor. Do it, Kaner!”

 

~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“Jesus...he's fucking perfect, even if he is tiny.” Kaner whispered in awe as he took in Bur's pup. “You two made a cute kid, despite the raw material.”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Kaner.” Max replied mildly as he looked down at his son. The pup was in an incubator, hooked up to machines and had wires all over the place. He was only wearing a teeny diaper and a small blue cap and had his eyes closed. But he was adorable and alive, and that was all that mattered.

 

He would have to tell Bur that when he woke up. Bur had wanted to come and see his pup longer than the fleeting glimpses he had gotten when they had cut him open and pulled him out, but both Max and Kaner had insisted he rest. Although he had tried to fight them on that, he was simply too worn out to argue and had fallen into a deep sleep after extracting the promise that he would check on their pup and make sure he was safe. 

 

“Have you guys decided on a name for him yet?” Kaner asked him abruptly. Max shook his head.

“When Adam wakes up, we'll decide for sure. We just had an idea...but he was born so soon, we never really finalized it.”

 

“What were you thinking of?” Kaner asked cautiously.

“Luc-Maxime Patrick Jose Kristopher Talbot-Burish.” Max replied, the names rolling off his tongue with ease.

 

“Good names. After all, he had to find a way to honour the kid's fathers.” Kaner commented mildly, making Max look at him sharply.

 

“I know, Max. I know he's not yours. Nor is he Kesler's. I couldn't see it before. Your entering the picture made it a blank spot, and I just had no visions of Bur or his pup. But at the meeting...it was a bright flash. That was why I asked for the separation from Tazer: so that I could prove it and convince him Bur wasn't a traitor, and he was our friend. Was always our friend. But he was always blinded by his guilt over what happened to me and to Bur that he could never listen to reason. I've got the proof now and hopefully...he can understand and apologize to Bur over all of this.”

 

Kaner explained as he turned away from the nursery window and looked at Max. 

 

“I won't tell him that Sharpie's the father. I respect and care about Roy too much to go there. Only you, Bur, Jose, Sheldon and Sharpie will know of it. As for the rest of the world...they will just know he's yours and Bur's. Nothing more. They don't need to know anything else.”

 

Max nodded and turned to look at his son. “Thank you.” 

“No. Thank you. Without you, none of this would have been possible. Remember that.”


	5. Carey will move heaven and earth to protect and help his mate and to him, the only place to do it is to go back to their Packlands. Sometimes, you have to come full circle in order to move forward.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carey will move heaven and earth to protect and help his mate and to him, the only place to do it is to go back to their Packlands. Sometimes, you have to come full circle in order to move forward.

“ _So when you hear this Autumnsong_

_Remember the best times are yet to come” Manic Street Preachers_

Danny laid in bed and watched as the morning light played across the ceiling of his and Carey's room. Carey himself was still asleep and even though he wanted the company, he didn't want to be selfish and wake his mate up so early. It wouldn't have been fair. Especially not since Carey would be an utter zombie if he didn't get at least seven hours of sleep. So he let him sleep and tried to make his mind shut up. 

Danny didn't want to think about the day ahead, when he would find out whether it was fine to hang on to hope. He knew that if he did, he would probably be setting himself up for a huge disappointment and he would rather not have that emotional downturn to deal with. Even though he and Carey had talked about the two possible outcomes and had devised strategies to deal with them ...Danny still couldn't help but to want that the more desirable outcome would come to pass. 

He wanted to be independent again. He wanted to walk beside his mate and his sons.He wanted to make love to Carey, to be the one giving him pleasure rather than just receiving it. Danny wanted to have Carey underneath him, begging for more, rather than being the one taking all the time. He wanted to be back on the ice. He just wanted his life back. 

Danny didn't really know if he could survive not having any of that back. Although he had gotten more or less used to having Carey help him with the everyday tasks that had become daunting in his injured state, he hadn't ever made peace with the situation. He was a grown man, and he hated having to ask his mate to get him a glass or to help him get undressed or to take him to the facilities. The worst was that Carey did all these tasks without complaining and that made Danny feel like a whingy, ungrateful little bitch and guilty as all out. Even more so than when he had the weekly phone calls with his younger pups who always asked when they would see him and Caelan. He hadn't told them about Carey yet and that also added another dimension of guilt to his already heavy and complicated burden. 

“ _Could you quit borrowing trouble, love?”_  Danny jolted and looked over at Carey, who was lying on his side, watching him with a faint smile on his face.

“ _I'm so sorry, Carey. I didn't mean to wake you.”_  Danny replied, utterly mortified at forgetting that Carey could pick up even the faintest thoughts coming from him when he was slightly awake. He also wondered exactly how much of his inner monologue Carey had been privy to. He didn't want to be a whingy little bitch, but permanent paralysis and dependency wasn't something that he was quite ready to accept just yet.

Carey shook his head and sat up with a fluid grace that Danny couldn't help but envy. He used to have that grace, but now, with his useless lower body and prison of a brace, it was all but a distant memory for him. 

“ _I know it's hard for you, but don't you think you're being overly dramatic and self-pitying there?”_  Carey asked him gently, reaching out to caress his mate's cheek with his knuckles. Danny leaned instinctively into the touch and sighed softly.

“I know. It's just...I want to walk again. I want to skate again. I want to play with my pups. All of them. I know it's only been a couple of months, but it feels like it's never going to end. Maybe I'm just being impatient. I know it takes time. But to watch you move how I used to, yeah, it brings it all back up again.”

Carey remained quiet as he took what Danny was saying in. Over the past couple of months, he had asked himself what he would have done if the tables had been turned. If he had been the one with the broken spine and reliant on his partner or his cousin. He had thought about it long and hard when he had watched Danny struggle with simple tasks, or when Danny flushed whenever he got dressed and went through such lengths to hide the brace protecting his spine. He had asked himself the question over and over again, and he had to admit that he probably wouldn't have dealt with it half as well as Danny had. He would have been a brat, and he was sure that Danny would have lost patience with him, and Shane and Jose, and even Sheldon would have smacked him across the head. Not to mention the self-pity. Eventually, he would have snapped out of it, but only if there had been hope that it would have been a temporary situation. If it had been permanent... 

Carey kept stroking Danny's face and pushed those useless thoughts away. There was no point in going down that route. It was all in the past. It was Danny that had to cope with the burden of uncertainty and disability. He was there to help ease the burden and to support him as much as he possibly could.He hoped when they went to the hospital that Danny would be told that he'd be on his feet and playing in a few more months. 

“I know it's old news and that there's no point in re-hashing it until we know for sure. I know all of that...yet I keep on foolishly doing it.” Danny laughed humorlessly and reached up to grasp Carey's hand and twined his fingers with Carey's own. He looked at Carey, who only bent his head and brushed a series of soft kisses across his forehead, cheek and jaw, making Danny growl in pleasure at the touch.

“It's okay, Danny. Don't get fucking caught up in it, that's all. Just don't forget that we're all here for you. No matter what happens, okay?” Carey whispered, his lips still pressed against Danny's skin.

“I know, Carey. I won't forget. Even when I'm acting like a brat.” Danny replied in an equally soft voice.

“I still love you, even if you are one.” Carey murmured as he slid down so that he was on the same level as Danny.

“What time do we have to be at the hospital again?” Carey asked Danny as he moved to his side and pressed his body against Danny's.

“Not until eleven. We still have a few hours for what you have in mind.” Danny replied, his free hand ghosting down Carey's hip.

“Great to hear. So shall we start?”

Danny smirked as his hand moved to wrap itself around Carey's already hard cock. 

“Of course.”

~*~*~*~*~ 

“Carey, why are we going to Anahim Lake?” Danny asked his mate as Carey drove silently, the only sound in the car before Danny had spoken being whatever song the country music station was playing.

“I think it's the best place for you at the moment.” Carey replied, his eyes flickering briefly to Danny, who was fiddling with his seatbelt.

“Wouldn't the hospital make better sense? The doctors agreed-”

“They're not always right, Danny. They're not. You're going to be okay. Once we get to the Packlands. You're going to be fine. All I'm asking is that you trust me in this, okay love? Trust me.” Carey interrupted him harshly, his eyes going full black as he spoke. Danny swallowed and thought about Carey's question carefully before he gave an answer.

He had been disappointed by the bleak prognosis. That maybe he would re-learn to walk unaided. But until the swelling in his spine went down, they wouldn't know for sure. Not to mention that there was still the question of how much damage the swelling may have caused. It had been only a few months since his injury, but time was of the essence and the doctors had agreed that if he hadn't been a loup, he would have been completely paralyzed with no hope of even having that. 

He had been strangely okay with it, because it meant that he didn't have to wait for the other shoe to drop. Maybe he still hadn't absorbed it all, and his mind was keeping him detached and numb from the reality in order to keep him sane. Danny didn't know, but he wasn't about to prod how exactly he felt about living in a broken body for the rest of his life. No more hockey. No more being independent. No more shifting into his second form. 

Danny closed his eyes at that thought and tried to push it away. He had missed shifting into his loup form. The first time he had tried, it had hurt him so badly that he had given up forcing it. It took effort and energy he didn't have to shift out of cycle, so he had simply waited for the full moon to shift. But when Carey had shifted and he hadn't, he had panicked. Carey had come to him in wolf form, and had curled up by his bed the entire night. It had helped him, but Carey's eyes had bled black when they had spoken about it the next morning. 

When the next month had rolled around, Danny had managed a partial shift, and Carey had told him to change back unless he got stuck in that half-form. There were tales, Carey had explained once he had shifted back to human. 

“I used to think the tales were just that. But after seeing Sheldon and Jose and Ryan...not so much. It would be hell if that happened. So it's better not to tempt fate.” Carey had told him the next morning as they lay in bed together, and Carey stroked Danny's hair.

“What if I'm stuck as a human for the rest of my life? A crippled human, never mind? What then?” Danny had whispered roughly, his panic all too clear in his words despite him fighting to keep it at bay.

“I'll fix it. When the time comes. Just trust me. Even if you think it's crazy and unorthodox...trust me. You're the mate that I never thought I'd have. I'd do anything for you. So remember that. When the time comes. Trust me.”

Danny had forgotten those words until Carey's repeating them brought them back. Carey had never lied to him. Had never hurt him and had always done his best to protect him. He knew that. He had taken on the responsibility of Caelan when Danny was incapacitated and hadn't complained. Had stayed with him through Danny's worst times and best times. 

All he was asking for was trust. 

“Okay. I will. Trust you, I mean.” Danny finally answered as he turned to look at Carey, whose eyes went back to their normal brown at the answer.

“Thank you.” Carey replied, exhaling loudly before he reached over and grasped his mate's hand and squeezed it tightly for a few seconds before putting his hand back on the steering wheel.

~*~*~*~*~ 

“Danny, wake up.”

Danny felt himself being shaken from his somewhat comfy nest that Carey had fashioned out of their jackets and blankets. He groaned and opened his eyes with effort. He scrubbed at his face and nearly jumped out of his skin when Carey opened the back door of his truck and climbed in. 

“We're in the woods just outside Anahim Lake. Pacific Pack land. We made it just in time.” Carey told him as he sat Danny up and pulled off his t-shirt.

“Carey! What the fuck are you doing?” Danny yelled, trying to push his mate's hands away as Carey worked the straps of his back brace open.

“You won't need this for what we're going to do here, so please stop squirming.” Carey told him as he removed the brace and pulled the rest of Danny's clothes off.

“Can you tell me exactly  _what_  it is that we're going to do? I mean, usually it's sexy to get stripped in the back of a truck, but this is bordering on creepy.” Danny pointed out once he was completely naked and feeling oddly vulnerable at not having rigid plastic around his torso holding him still.

“Huh. Yeah. You're right. Uhm...Basically, it's the full moon tonight. We're on our Packlands, and there is a legend among us that if you're seriously wounded and you come back to the Packlands, you can get healed. As long as you spill blood to the earth, it will work.” Carey explained once he had finished taking his clothes off and was kneeling naked in front of Danny, who despite being weirded out, was enjoying the view immensely.

“Okay. But...how are we going to do that, exactly?” Danny asked as Carey gently picked him up and lifted him him out of the cab and jumped out, gracefully landing on his feet.

“Mating. We always spill blood when we mate. And it wouldn't hurt to offer that as well.” Carey replied as he hefted Danny to settle him in his arms more before he walked towards a more secluded area of the woods that he knew from experience would be covered in wood moss.

“Never have done it in the woods.” Danny commented after Carey had carried him in silence as he got deeper and deeper into the woods until it was almost pitch black for the both of them.

“There's always a first time for everything. Is this good?” He asked once he found a suitable spot and gently laid him down upon it.

“Yeah. It's soft.” Danny answered as he laid on the moss and looked up at the sky, which could only be seen in small patches through the trees.

“Good. I don't want to hurt you anymore than you have been.” Carey whispered as he positioned himself above his mate, supporting most of his weight on his elbows and knees.

Danny didn't have time to reply. His voice was stolen away by Carey's mouth sucking wetly on the side of his neck. His eyes rolled up in his head and his hands went up to bury themselves into the heavy richness that was Carey's hair, now fully grown out to its proper length. He must have moaned, or given some kind of encouragement, because Carey started to suck and mouth a wet trail from his neck, down to his still super sensitive nipples, down to his belly and moving until he was kissing the raised ridge of a hipbone. 

Although it was a faint sensation, Danny could feel it. Just like he could feel Carey moving down to his cock, which had started to stir when Carey had reached his nipples. Danny had expected for Carey to start sucking him off, but he got a big surprise when Carey followed the wet trail back up to his nipples and started sucking on his right one, making Danny give out a high keen of lust and his fingers to dig in deeper into Carey's hair. 

Danny's cries increased when he felt the muffled sensation of Carey palming his cock and stroking it in a staggered rhythm. 

“Carey!” He cried out and tried to thrust into his hand.

“ _No. Stay still”_ Carey commanded him, stopping the stroking abruptly and pinning his hip down with his hand.

“Why?” Danny asked almost petulantly.

“ _Wait. It's not time yet. If you rush it, you're not going to enjoy it, and it won't work.”_  Carey told him as he bit down on his nipple, making him howl and forget his protests in the intense sensations that the biting produced. He had to close his eyes and bite his lip as he felt heat rush up from his chest and hit his brain. His throat went dry, and he was nearly gasping for air when Carey licked his abused right nipple and moved onto his left one.

“ _See?”_  Carey teased him, licking and sucking his that nipple.

“Ye..yeah...” Danny gasped out in agreement before Carey stuck his fingers into Danny's mouth.

Danny sucked on them, despite being surprised by the action. He licked them slowly, working his lips around them and coating them with as much saliva as he possibly could manage before Carey pulled them out of his mouth. 

He felt Carey's fingers prodding at his entrance, but as with every sensation below his hips, it was muffled and almost foreign. As if he was being touched through several thicknesses of fabric. 

“ _I hope I don't hurt you. I'll try to be gentle. Okay, love?”_ Carey asked as he readied Danny, who let out a faint sound of agreement as he was distracted by Carey's mouth.

Danny closed his eyes and clenched his fingers hard as his orgasm crested and built up in him. If Carey kept on working his mouth like that, he was going to spill all over, Danny thought muzzily. 

“ _Hang on. Not yet! Not yet!”_ Carey cautioned him as he pulled his fingers out and positioned them so that he was able to go inside Danny. He had to pull away from Danny's chest, but made up for it by latching onto the juncture of Danny's neck and shoulder and biting down hard.

Danny gasped and the pain and the memory of their first time made him instinctively search out Carey's neck and he bit down hard, savouring the breaking of skin and the coppery tang of blood. His mind clouded for a second, and it was with delayed delight that he realized that his teeth had turned to fangs. He opened his eyes and the night was different, all in shades of grey as it was when he was a loup. 

He was so lost in the sensations and the burgeoning orgasm that when it hit, it was like bolts of lightning had hit him. His entire body arched and jerked with the force of it, leaving him dimly aware of Carey doing the same. The force of Carey's orgasm pulled him away completely and Danny became aware of the scent of spilled blood and semen on the moss once he did so. 

Carey didn't lay beside him though. In fact, it seemed like Carey had disappeared. Realizing this, Danny sat up and looked around, his heart pounding in fear as he looked for his mate. 

Carey appeared in his loup form of a huge black wolf in front of him. 

“ _It's your turn. Change. I want to hunt with you. Change. Please, Danny. Change?”_ Carey asked him, pawing at his mate to encourage him to do so.

Danny laughed humorlessly, but shrugged his shoulders. Carey believed in this, had made an effort to bring him out here in that belief. Carey believed that Danny would get better in their Packlands, and even though Danny thought that it was just a story, he was touched by the effort that Carey had put into bringing him here. He had to admit that he wouldn't have done that. So he figured he had to at least try, for Carey's sake. 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes and concentrated on his loup form-a small dark brown wolf with darker markings along the chest and shoulders. He held that picture in his mind, just like he always had, until the pain drove it away like always. 

“ _Oh! Don't stop! You're nearly there!”_  Carey's voice carried him through the pain, which he would have howled through. This time, he whimpered and whined and kept his eyes shut until the last bit of tendon and muscle and bone was in place.

“ _Huh. You're smaller than I remembered. Welcome back.”_  Carey told him, making Danny open his eyes and look down at himself as much as he was able. He was completely shifted, he noted, before he realized that he was standing on four paws. He gave an excited yip and circled around, as if he was a pup chasing his tail. He couldn't believe it! He was in loup form,and he was walking! He tested his back, and it wasn't sore. A bit stiff, but he was whole again.

“ _Let's go hunt.”_ Carey said to Danny, padding over to him and touching noses with him. He nipped Danny and bounded off a short distance, looking back to see if Danny had followed him. Danny yipped and ran after his mate, both of them not looking back as they ran through the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Autumnsong" By Manic Street Preachers


	6. Tazer/Kaner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaner is the one taking the initiative to get his two friends to mend their bridges and sometimes, sorrow doesn't have to be so heavy or so sad.

" _But Maybe...  
  
I don't want to take advice from fools  
  
I'll just figure everything is cool  
  
Until I hear it from you" Gin Blossoms  
  
_

_Tazer/Kaner_

Tazer sat in his room, cradling a cup of tea as he stared out the window. He felt the same cold numbness he did when Kaner was first turned and injured, except that this time it was worse. Much worse than before. This time, he didn't have that much hope that Kaner was ever going to forgive him and come back to him. 

He loved Kaner, and he could now see how his behaviour had driven his mate away. Even though he had tried to keep a tight grip on his emotions when it came to Kaner, he had failed miserably. He had convinced himself that he had been doing his best to protect Kaner by preventing a future threat. It had killed him to have cut Burish out of his life. But he had to protect Kaner. He had already failed him once, and he wasn't going to do that twice. He had learned his lesson from the last time, and even though it meant shutting out a friend, he would do it. 

But it had all backfired on him, and Kaner was gone from him. And there was nothing he could do to bring him back. He could try to petition the Alphas and use what little position he had left to freeze the separation petition that Kaner had put forth. If he did though, he was certain that would simply drive him away. He knew Kaner. He also knew that despite the childishness and occasional passivity, there was only so much that Kaner would put up with before lashing out. 

Bullying Kaner wasn't an option. Well, it was if he wanted to drive him away further than he already had. No. He was proud and stubborn, but he wasn't stupid. 

He would wait. As long as it took, for Kaner to come back to him, if he ever would. 

Kaner had been gone for almost two weeks, give or take a few days. Tazer had lost track of the days as he tried to keep it together. It was hard to keep on going, and he mostly coped with the loneliness and silence by overworking and mainlining coffee to keep the reality away. He knew it wasn't the best way to cope, but at the moment, it was working. And that's all that he cared about. 

He shook his head and drank his tea, wincing when he realized it was luke-warm. He finished the cup and rose to go to the bathroom. It had been his third cup of the day and more than likely wasn't going to be his last. He had promised Sheldon and Jose that he would look at the paperwork that was piling up since Danny and Nicklas were on leave, and that would probably eat up his entire evening and then some. 

Once he was done and was standing at the sink washing his hands, Tazer looked up at his reflection. 

“Christ.” He muttered to himself as he took in his pale, gaunt face and the dark circles that had taken residence under his dull brown eyes. He really did look much worse than he had almost a year ago. He had to snap out of it somehow. If he went back to the team looking like death warmed over, he would for sure be stripped of his captaincy. He would be surprised if he was allowed to keep it, if he was honest with himself.

He turned the taps off and dried his hands while making a mental note to snap out of it. How, he would get to that later. But he really needed to stop abusing himself. 

Tazer exited the bathroom and went to his room to pick up the empty cup of tea and took it to the kitchen, where he re-filled the electric kettle and set it to boil enough water for more tea. He washed his cup and put a tea bag in it, losing himself in the simple pleasure of preparing tea. It took him back to having tea during cold winter evenings back in Manitoba when he was young. He shook his head at the remembrance and dropped a tea bag into his cup and leaned back against the counter to wait. 

He stared at the floor of his kitchen and thought about the upcoming season, his thoughts carefully moving away from Kaner and the present situation. He had that, at least, to look forward to. He mused about which new faces he was most likely to see when his thoughts were interrupted by a loud and abrupt knocking at his front door. 

Tazer frowned at the knocking and debated ignoring it. He knew his behaviour towards Bur had alienated many of the loups as well as his friends, so he really didn't see why anyone would be looking him up. Besides, his kettle had just come to boil. He shrugged and pushed himself away from the counter and flicked the switch off, still mulling over whether to answer the door, when an infuriatingly familiar voice came through the door. 

“TAZER! Open the fucking door! TAZER! Come on, man! Don't be a dick!”

His tea forgotten, he rushed to the door and opened it to reveal his mate and Sharpie standing in the hall. Kaner looked worn,and Sharpie looked worried and dishevelled. It didn't matter to Tazer though. All that mattered was that they were there, waiting for him to let them into his quarters. Which he did once he gathered his wits enough to step aside and usher them in the living room area. 

“Do you guys want some tea?” Tazer blurted out as they sat down on the unused chesterfields. Since Kaner had left, he had mostly kept to his room. His dining room table had become his de facto office. Other than the bathroom, the rest of his quarters were untouched.

Kaner's nose wrinkled, but he nodded. Sharpie too nodded, and Tazer went out to the kitchen and rapidly fixed up a tray. Worry welled up inside him as he filled two more cups with water and put in two more tea-bags. He grabbed milk, sugar and spoons and tried to not think about why Kaner and Sharpie had shown up and actually accepted the offer for tea. He just hoped that it had something to do with the Council, rather than Bur or Roy or anyone else being in trouble or hurt. 

He returned to the living room and put the tray down on the coffee table. Sharpie and Kaner both gave him murmured thanks and fixed up their tea before they sat back and looked at Tazer. This gesture made him nervous, and it was all he could do to not let his hands shake. 

“Is Bur dead?” He blurted out after several moments of enduring the silent tension in the room.

“What? NO! God, you're morbid! No! He's in the hospital though.” Kaner spluttered out, making Tazer give a sigh of relief at the news.

“Luc-Maxime was born prematurely, and it was hard on Adam. So he and the pup are staying in the hospital for awhile. Talbot's over the moon with the pup.” Kaner added as he looked down at his tea and took a cautious sip, despite heavily sugaring and milking it.

Tazer swallowed down the unexpected lump that had formed in his throat at hearing that news. 

“Are Bur and his kid going to be okay?” Tazer asked softly, still in disbelief at the news that he had just been given, his earlier antipathy towards the pup that Bur had carried gone in the wake of such sobering news. He nearly lost his friend due to his stupid stubborness. That was enough to give him pause and decide that even if the pup  _was_ Kesler's, it didn't matter anymore. He had a right to live.

“Yeah. He just needs time to get over the birth. He's still got staples in him, and he lost a lot of blood.The pup's a preemie, but he's going to be okay. You should go visit him. He does miss you, even though you've been an asshole.” Sharpie added. Tazer frowned, but he didn't say anything. He deserved that dig.

“Hell, we  _all_  have missed you. Even if you're a blind idiot and an insufferable arrogant asshole.” Kaner muttered, drinking down more of his tea.

“Gee, Kaner. Don't hold back, tell me how you  _really_  feel.” Tazer retorted, making Sharpie snort.

“I love you and understand your misguided attempts at trying to protect me, but you were wrong in this one. Very wrong. You let your hatred for Kesler blind you and hurt your friends deeply, and that will take time to get over, man.” Kaner replied, his eyes fixed on his tea as he spoke.

“Especially since you were dead wrong about Bur. He's your  _friend_ , man! And your team-mate! How could you mistrust him so badly? After all he did for all of us, man? How?” Kaner whispered.

“I didn't think about that! I was just...I was disgusted, and I was angry that we had whored him out, okay? I was pissed off that he was going to bring another one of  _him_  into the world, and we profited from that. I was pissed off that I had set him up to be fucked over  _again,_ and he was now going to be responsible for Kesler's spawn. I know it was stupid, how I behaved. And Talbot's words at the meeting didn't help matters...but I can't blame him. I was the idiot in that equation.” Tazer finished in a quiet, almost defeated voice.

“You didn't set him up to be fucked over. Bur agreed to take up the task. But when it all came down to it, if you want to set up blame, set up at that asshole's door-step. He was the one that hurt Kaner, turned Bur and strung him along. No one else. Bur thought he knew how to play the game, but in the end...he didn't.” Sharpie noted bitterly as he drank down most of his tea in a long swallow.

“I have to ask...is it Kesler's?” Tazer's voice was hushed, and his hands were clenched around his cup as he braced himself for an answer that he really didn't want to hear; but had to hear all the same.

“It's mine. But to the rest of the world...it's Talbot's.” Sharpie replied before Kaner could say anything. Tazer could only blink at the answer, and he had to slowly put his cup down lest it slipped out of his numb hands and crashed to the floor and spilled its contents all over.

“If you think you're to blame, then so am I.” Sharpie continued, his voice neutral as he spoke.

“It was killing him, having to be with Kesler. But when I finally noticed it...he was in too deep. He didn't want to pull out when he figured out what Kesler was up to. But it was fucking killing him. I asked him to stop...but he didn't want to let us down. So when it got to be too much...I comforted him the best that I could.”

“Roy doesn't know about this, does he?” Tazer asked after Sharpie's confession. Sharpie and Kaner shook their heads.

“Nor will he ever. I love Jonathan. Love him deeply. But Burish is also one of my best friends. I couldn't let him destroy himself. I know that maybe I could have offered comfort a different way...” Sharpie trailed off and shook his head. He raised his head and looked at Tazer, his green eyes wide and clear as he did so.

“He came back once, and it was late. The sound of the shower woke me up, and I went to the bathroom to at least see how he was doing. We had a game that night and when I saw him in the shower, I couldn't turn back. He was bruised and cut up to hell, and he was just leaning against the tile, as if he didn't have the strength to stand there, under the water. He was also crying. I just couldn't leave him like that.”

“So you took him into your bed?” Tazer asked softly, his own heart hurting at the story he had just been told and the cruel and bitter aftermath that had followed.

“Yeah. I did. Maybe it was that time. Or maybe later. Either way, he conceived with me. I know Luc-Maxime's mine. But I can't claim him. Not without hurting Jonathan deeply, and quite honestly, I won't trade one for the other. Never.”

Tazer nodded. He understood that compulsion all too well.“So where do we go from here?” 

“We go visit Bur. You apologize and buy Luc-Maxime an expensive gift, and we never speak of his father again. Then you congratulate Max and Bur and help me pick up my bag so that I can move back. Does that work for you, Jonathan Toews?” Kaner asked.

Tazer blinked a couple of times as Kaner's words sunk in and nodded. 

“Good.”

_Adam/Max_

“I wish I could take him home right now.” Bur murmured as he held Luc-Maxime ever so carefully as he nursed. Although he wasn't hooked up to the respirator and so many wires and lines, Luc-Maxime still wasn't ready to go home just yet. Despite gaining weight and being able to breathe on his own, as well as nursing and crying, the doctors wanted to keep him for a few more days. It was for his own good, but it still made Adam sad he couldn't take his pup home just yet.

“Soon. He just needs to get a little bigger and he'll be home, waking us up in the middle of the night.” Max assured Adam, kissing the top of his head and lightly stroking Luc-Maxime's soft, fuzzy head.

“I know. I really do, but I still want to just hold him to make sure he's safe. It just still freaks me out to think about all the blood and how he could have not made it, even being a loup.” Adam whispered as he gently rocked his pup, who was looking up at him with wide, blue-green eyes as he nursed.

“But he did. And he's here, nursing and pawing at you to do so.” Max replied, giving his chosen mate another kiss as they watched Luc-Maxime do a milk tread, despite nursing from a bottle.

“That's a good sign, I guess.” Adam commented as he watched Luc-Maxime's eyes slowly closing as he finished the full bottle of formula. Max didn't say anything, only continued stroking his son's fuzzy head until the bottle was done and Luc-Maxime was more asleep than awake.

Adam rocked him more, but this time held him against his shoulder and patted his back until he burped. Max only watched, mentally taking notes as he watched his mate and a nurse swaddle his pup, put the small blue cap on him and put him back in the incubator. 

“Bye, kid. Sleep well.” Adam told his son, bending down to stroke his cheek before walking out with Max at his side. Despite it only having been a week since Luc-Maxime was delivered, Adam had healed up pretty well and would be discharged along with his pup. The staples had been taken out, and the scar was fading more every day, and he was feeling almost normal.

“I can't wait to have him home, you know?” Adam asked Max, turning to look at him. He was surprised though, when his mate didn't reply or smile back. He turned to look at what had made Max so unresponsive, and his throat went dry when he saw Tazer, Kaner and Sharpie standing in front of the nursery window.

“Bur! Bur! Hey! Perfect timing! Look who's here!” Kaner exclaimed excitedly as he pulled a beet red Tazer away from the nursery window and pushed him towards a frozen Adam.

Max growled and stood in front of Bur, but Tazer put up his hands. 

“I'm not here to cause problems for you or your mate, Talbot. I came here to apologize to my friend for treating him like shit.” Tazer explained as he came closer to Adam, who only watched him.

“Adam, I'm here to say I'm sorry and to ask your forgiveness for being an utter asshole when you went and helped us out. I was pissed off at myself and at the position that I had put you in. Even though you agreed, we benefited from your sacrifice and-”

“Jonathan, fuck, did anyone ever tell you that you fucking talk too much when only a few words would suffice? Fuck...come here.” Adam interrupted him as he pulled his captain, and erstwhile, but hopefully soon to be friend again into a tight embrace.

“I'm still sorry, Bur. I'm so sorry...” Tazer whispered, his words trailing off as he and Bur embraced in front of their friends and mates, who pretended to not notice the outpouring of emotion from their usually stoic friend.

“It's okay. It's okay. You're here now. That's all that matters now. It's okay.” Bur replied as he tightened his embrace before he pulled away.

“Have you seen Luc-Maxime?” Adam asked. Tazer shook his head.

“Look.” Adam told him as he pulled him towards the nursery window and pointed out the small pup that was wearing a tiny blue hat and was fast asleep in his swaddling. Tazer took in the sight of him in silence for a few minutes before he spoke.

“He's tiny. Looks like you. Cute.” Tazer offered.

“That's seriously it? Huh. Never thought I'd see the day.” Sharpie broke in, making them all laugh quietly.

“Can we sneak you out?” Kaner asked Bur, who looked at Max, who smiled thinly.

“There's a coffee shop across the street. I'm sure they won't miss him, and I know you won't take no for an answer. So let's go and broker this peace.”

~*~*~*~*~ 

_Sheldon/Jose_

“Do you think he'd like it?” Jose asked as Sheldon finished putting the coil of sweetgrass down on Ryan's tombstone, instead of flowers. Sheldon didn't like funeral flowers and Jose had to agree with him on that one. He wanted sunflowers, but Sheldon had shaken his head in disagreement. They had settled on a braided coil of sweetgrass in the end and had brought it with them to lay on their late Consort's grave.

“Yeah. I think he would. He wasn't much for flowers. He told me once he didn't understand the purpose of something that was there to look pretty and nothing more.” Sheldon explained as he held out his hand to his mate, who took it gladly.

“Ah.” Jose had exclaimed softly, suddenly understanding why Sheldon had vetoed flowers at Ryan's grave. He didn't mind not knowing this about Ryan. No one could truly share themselves completely with two people, and Ryan, unlike him and Sheldon, had been keen on keeping some things to himself. Or sharing certain things with either Sheldon or Jose. Most he had shared with both, but it wasn't a hard and fast rule that had to be the case always.

“Besides, he liked the scent of it.” Sheldon murmured as he pulled Jose closer and entwined their hands together.

“Yeah. I remember he said that the first time that you burned it for him and how much he liked it.” Jose answered as he looked at his Alpha. Sheldon nodded and bit his lip, but he didn't cry. Jose could feel the sorrow and the grief coming from his mate, but it wasn't as raw and as overwhelming as it had been prior to that. It was an accepting kind of sorrow, the one he felt when he thought about Ryan and how he would look when he was reading, or taking a photograph or practicing. Or how he looked after they had made love: sleepy, sated and loving as he had kissed him and then Sheldon before they al went to sleep safe in each other's arms.

“Did you bring a lighter?” Sheldon asked him, pulling him out of his memories.

“I'll light it.” Jose offered and Sheldon nodded, letting him go so he could do that.

Sheldon watched him light the sweetgrass and thought about Ryan. He missed Ryan and sometimes it was so painful, the missing and the longing to see him again, that it made him catch his breath with the intensity of it. But now, despite the occasional rawness, he knew that the wound was healing. No one would replace Ryan to him, or to Theo, but at least he wasn't lost in his grief for him. Nor was Theo, who had to face it and more responsibilities, his own breakdown being one of them. 

“ _You weren't a burden, coeur. You just hadn't faced so much adversity before. But now you have, you will be stronger and better for it. Remember how you promised that to me, when we first truly mated?”_  Jose asked him, his task now completed.

Sheldon nodded, a lump in his throat as he recalled saying those exact words to a wide-eyed and shaking Jose, his body still littered with scars and marks from his previous Alpha. 

“ _I'm making that promise to you, coeur. It will happen. Trust me. Just like I trust you.”_  Jose replied as he wrapped his arms around Sheldon's neck and kissed him, sealing his promise.

“ _I do.”_ Sheldon replied truthfully. He believed that it would happen, simply because his Theo said so. It was the same faith that Theo himself had shown Sheldon, when he sought so desperately to prove to Theo that things would change now that he was with his new Alpha. It had taken time, but it had happened. Just like it would happen now.

“ _Good. Let's go home then, coeur.”_ Jose had told him, once he had disentangled himself from his Alpha and taken his hand to start the walk back home, to the Enclave and to their Pack.

END. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song quoted is by Gin Blossoms

**Author's Note:**

> Song and title are from Atmosphere's "Modern Man's Hustle"


End file.
